She Reads Truth: the study of James.

The ladies over at SheReadsTruth have started a study on James.  The first day/introduction just spoke such sweet truth to my heart that I had to share.  I am doing 31 days on "loving my mommy body" and this spoke to that part of me.  I hope it does yours too. 

*Sidenote-another pretty rad thing is that we are currently walking through James at Exodus.  I love when the sweet SheReadsTruth devotions directly supplement the truths I hear at church on Sundays*

Yesterday.

My yesterdays are filled with moments of not loving my mommy body.  Actually, my yesterdays are filled with moments of not loving my body before I became a mommy.  Truth be told, even some of my days now are filled with moments of not loving my mommy body.  Some days my jeans are a little tighter in the waist than I'd like.  Some days my shirts don't conceal that mommy belly that I've tried so hard to get rid of.  Some days I don't get out of my running clothes; claiming I am running that day (I usually AM but I could change clothes).  Okay, most days I don't get out of my running clothes.

You know what though? He has loved me through it all.  He has been there reminding me, in those fleeting looks of approval in the windows as I pass them by.  He has whispered to me when that pair of jeans fits just the way they should for the first time in a weeks.  He has shouted out that he knows the number of hairs on my head as my stylists trims those same hairs.  Sometimes though, I don't hear him.  Sometimes I'm so wrapped up in my disapproval of myself that I miss those windows, I don't put on those jeans, and I miss those hairs on the floor. 

Today, I am going to try and hear Him. I am going to listen for His sweet whispers.  His sweet reminders that He made me just the way I am.  That He loves me; on the days I miss the windows, when those jeans don't fit, and I miss the hairs on the floor.  

Because, Sisters, He has been there in my yesterdays. He is truly with me now.  He will be with me tomorrow. His agape love for me is unfathomable.  Focus on that with me today. Focus on His love for Us. Because it's everlasting and never sways.

  

Right. This. Second.

Hey Mama,

You who just had a baby two weeks ago.  That size you were before that sweet babe (or two)? It will come back.  You just grew a child and delivered said child.  Give yourself a break.  Today celebrate that you are beautiful.  Right. This. Second.

You who are in your 30th week of pregnancy and feel like you are bigger than you have ever been and know there is more to come. You are GROWING A HUMAN, please show yourself some grace. You are beautiful. Right. This. Second.

You who just went back to work, just because you ate an extra cookie from the commons area or your afternoon snack before lunch, don't sweat it. Don't you dare beat yourself up.  That one slip up is not going to take away from your beauty.  Because You are beautiful. Right. This. Second.

You who stays at home with your littles or your bigs or both all day long, still got your PJs on? That's okay. You are investing in something precious.  And you know what? You are beautiful.  Right. This Second.

You who just left Target feeling defeated because you're PMSing, bloated, nothing is fitting, and those florescent lights got to you?  Shake it off.  Florescent lights SUCK and you would think if department stores wanted to actually sell clothes they would figure out how to make us feel better not worse.  You are so not alone.  Please remember that 99% of women hate fitting rooms.  Remember that you are beautiful.  Right. This. Second.

You who recently walked your sweet babe down the aisle? You have done an amazing job.  And you? I am pretty sure that you looked beautiful at that big moment.  Pretty sure you are beautiful. Right. This. Second.

Love,
This Mama

Loving my mommy body.

I have struggled with body image since I was in middle school.  Thinking back to elementary school I'm pretty sure there were some struggles bubbling below the surface but I was too busy having fun and not really caring to be bothered by them.
The struggles got fiercer as I got older.  As I grew my friend base.  As I was exposed to more of the "real world", watched more TV, read more magazines.  The struggles developed into obsession.  Obsession developed into sickness.  Sickness into disorder.  I developed an eating disorder and severe clinical depression.  As I got older those thoughts got harsher.  The hatred grew stronger.  I was never happy with what I saw in the mirror.

When I got pregnant, a lot of people were worried about how I would react to gaining baby weight during the pregnancy but also what would happen after the baby was out.  Thankfully, Teagan nursed well and for an entire year postpartum.  I had her completely dependent on me being healthy.  Otherwise, she would suffer.  With Kyra, the nursing wasn't so effective but the having two sweet girls that needed a healthy mommy was.

That being said.  It has been hard.  I've hated boobs my whole life.  I've been pretty close to duct taping them down a time or two over the years but I've never quite gone that far.  With two pregnancies, they got bigger, of course they got bigger.  With two pregnancies, the hips got bigger, of course they got bigger.  With two pregnancies, my nose got bigger, I think that is because I had girls (hello, old wives tale).  With two pregnancies, my feet didn't get bigger, hooray!!

We mom's should give ourselves a serious learning curve when it comes to our post-pregnancy bodies. They are new. They are alien.  Sometimes they are just plain crap.  However, WE GREW A HUMAN IN THERE.  So, let's give ourselves some grace, shall we?  I tell our girls so often they will eventually spout it in their sleep talk that they ARE fearfully and wonderfully made.  You know what? SO. AM. I.  I am a child of the King too.  He knows how many hairs are on my head (and my legs a little more often than I'd like to admit).

So, when I saw an opportunity to challenge myself.  To challenge other women, not just moms, to love our bodies and see ourselves the way HE sees us? I jumped on it.  I'm not sure what it's going to look like just yet.  But I'm excited.  I would love to have you on this journey with me, Sisters.  Let's love ourselves a little more each day this month, for the 31 Day Challenge.  And when we can't see the good, we can lean on each other, but mostly we should remind each other that WE are fearfully and wonderfully made.