It's the little things.

The more time I get to have as a mommy the more important the little things become to me.  In the next few weeks it will no longer be just Teagan, Josh and I. It will no longer be just Teagan and I.  There will be a new addition.  A new blessing. A new piece to my heart.
These last few weeks I have tried and am trying to make it a point to snuggle Teagan more and savor the just me and her time because that time grows short and I will soon have to make it a point to find that time. 
The other night we had a string of Fall storms that had the personality of a good NC summer storm.  When I got home with Teagan the storm had cleared and there was a warm steady rain coming down.  The kind you dance in with your high school sweet heart and steal a kiss.  The kind that helps you feel that sense of release when you run in it.  The kind where you dance and twirl and puddle jump with your sweet toddler babe. No shoes required. 
Dancing and twirling and puddle jumping barefoot was exactly what Teagan and I did while Josh watched and smiled.  I think he watched and then went inside to start dinner because he knew Teagan and I needed that.  I thought for a second to have him get the camera and capture the moment but then I decided against it.  This was one of those moments in time that didn't need a camera to catch how special it was.  My sweet girl had a smile plastered on her face.  Her pants and shirt and hair were soaked and mine were equally wet.  It was amazing.  It was just the two of us.  The rest of the world had disappeared into the background.  It's a moment that I won't soon forget.

Term week!!!

Wow! We have reached a pivotal point in the pregnancy!  On Thursday we will be full term! 37 flippin' weeks! That means, bring it on, Baby Bear!
We managed to get maternity pictures done before this little booger graces us with his/her presence.  They were all really good and candid! I would rather have candid pictures over posed any day.  Thankfully I have a sweet friend who offered to do them for us.  Here are a few of our faves:

We also took a few in the cow pasture, just Josh and I.  It pays to marry into a farming family.  The pictures were so funny they had to have a post all their own...trust me...

A is for Apple.

How cute is this? She konked out after the Apple Festival and still had a death grip on those apples!

Checking Up!

How far along: 36 weeks

Weight gain: 28lbs total (Hello, far cry from the 70+ I gained with Teagan)
Baby's size: 5 1/2 lbs or so right now.  Doc is estimating a 7 1/2-8lb baby

Sleep: Still able to get a full nights sleep. Occasionally I will get up once during the night but for the most part I'm sleeping pretty regularly.  Thank goodness!

Clothes: I haven't bought anything new. Still truckin' along and getting creative.  Mostly I have 4 outfits on rotation because I refuse to buy new clothes at this point.

Baby movement: Quite the rolly-polly! This baby really likes to knead my internal organs with their hands. Quite an odd sensation. 

Baby position: Head down and face down.  Let's just hope Baby Bear stays that way!

Cravings: random things that I haven't given into for the most part (thanks to my husband). This is definitely part of the reason I have only gained 28 lbs at 36 weeks. But, I won't lie, I did eat 8 Oreos and milk the other day at lunch...And OMGoodness NOM NOM NOM!!

Labor signs: The occasional "real" contraction mostly brought on by being overly tired or stressed. The Braxton-Hicks have definitely been getting stronger. Neither have been "productive". We are still "high & tight" as the doc puts it.

Inie or Outie: I actually have a little outie this time because of how Baby Bear is positioned. Not enough to be a full blown outie but it's there!

We had a doctor's appointment yesterday to check the size of baby.  The game plan was to see how big the baby is now and see if we were going to have to schedule a c-section or if we were just going to let it play out.  Thankfully, Baby Bear is only around 5 1/2 pounds right now and Dr. W doesn't think she/he will get over 8lbs.  This means we are just going to let it play out.  So, thankfully, there is no planned c-section and the waiting game begins.  I am so excited about this! I told myself I wasn't going to stress and I wasn't going to get worked up but I have to admit I would have been a little disappointed if we had to have scheduled a c-section yesterday.  Now, if we do get to the point where a c-section becomes necessary then so be it.  The only reason that would be would be that baby doesn't drop or we get to the point they would need to medically induce.  Dr. W told me we would try everything to prevent having to do another c-section.  It was nice to hear.  It was also nice to hear the comment he made about me being one of his more reasonable patients.  I'm okay with just going with the flow. I only want whats best for me and for the baby.  However we manage to get there.  

In case of emergency...

We are almost to the finish line now but the question lingers: what will we do with Teagan while Josh, Baby Bear and I hang out at the hospital for a few days?
We pretty much have the game plan laid out for every scenario we could come up with. Who will pick her up, who will watch her, where she will stay, etc.  What we haven't had until today was the official stuff done.  Mainly, the medical release.  If something were to happen to me or Josh or both of us while we are at the hospital or on the way there, etc then we need to make sure Teagan is properly taken care of.  If she were to get sick and need to go to the doctor or Heaven forbid the hospital then we need to make sure the ones she is in the care of can actually get her the help she needs. 
There are forms online you can print off.  A few are pretty crappy or try and charge you but that is not necessary.  Just make sure you read all of the information on the form you look for (we are using this one) and please get it notarized.  Getting it notarized is a big deal and will make the form more reliable in the face of an emergency.  Also, make sure you provide all the caretakers with a copy as well as the daycare/school your child is at.
Even if you aren't planning on leaving your child for a few days you never know what could happen.  This is a wise move for everybody to make.  We never know what can happen day to day and we need to make sure our children will continue to get the best care possible even if we aren't the ones giving it. 

Dearest Baby Bear

Dearest Baby Bear,
My sweet babe, it's almost time.  As I sit here writing this my eyes fill up with tears.  I cannot believe the time to hold you is almost here.  I've been aprehensive because I don't feel like I've given you the time I did your sister. I've been running around after her because she is a bundle of energy and most days I have to feed her and bathe her and help her brush her teeth!  I've barely had time for myself but I've loved you since we found out we were being blessed with another sweet babe.  As we grow closer to your due date my heart suddenly feels like it's going to explode with love.  I long to hold you and nurse you and have you nuzzle into my neck.  I can't wait to see you for the first time and tell you how much your daddy, your sister and I all love you.
I just want you to know we are all excited to meet you and hold you and love you.  We do want you to hang on at least another week and a half though. We want you to ate least be 37 weeks please! We want to be able to take you home right away so you just take all the time you want!

Forever and Always,
Mommy

A good friend can always make you cry, in a good way.

I have friends who know I've had concerns of sharing my heart with two.  One friend came upon this poem and had me in tears but sums up my heart quite well.  I thought I'd share it with you too.  Just grab a kleenex before you read on. Trust me.


Loving Two
I walk along holding your 2-year-old hand, basking in the glow of our magical relationship. Suddenly I feel a kick from within, as if to remind me that our time alone is limited. And I wonder: how could I ever love another child as I love you?
Then he is born, and I watch you. I watch the pain you feel at having to share me as you’ve never shared me before.
I hear you telling me in your own way, “Please love only me”. And I hear myself telling you in mine, “I can’t”, knowing, in fact, that I never can again.
You cry. I cry with you. I almost see our new baby as an intruder on the precious relationship we once shared. A relationship we can never quite have again.
But then, barely noticing, I find myself attached to that new being, and feeling almost guilty. I’m afraid to let you see me enjoying him, as though I am betraying you.
But then I notice your resentment change, first to curiosity, then to protectiveness, finally to genuine affection.
More days pass, and we are settling into a new routine. The memory of days with just the two of us is fading fast.
But something else is replacing those wonderful times we shared, just we two. There are new times – only now, we are three. I watch the love between you grow, the way you look at each other, touch each other.
I watch how he adores you – as I have for so long. I see how excited you are by each of his new accomplishments. And I begin to realize that I haven’t taken something from you, I’ve given something to you. I notice that I am no longer afraid to share my love openly with both of you.
I find that my love for each of you is as different as you are, but equally strong. And my question is finally answered, to my amazement. Yes, I can love another child as much as I love you – only differently.
And although I realize that you may have to share my time, I now know you’ll never share my love. There’s enough of that for both of you – you each have your own supply.
I love you – both. And I thank you both for blessing my life.
Author Unknown