Peace.

I have been acting like a spoiled teenage brat.  Thankfully coffee and prayers with a good friend made me realize that last night. Not a moment too soon. 
I have been complaining about my anxiety of another c-section because things weren't going to go exactly how I wanted. I am allowed disappointment but I should not be acting in the way I have been.  I have been ungrateful and a brat. 
Last night I prayerfully went to God asking for forgiveness for the lack of faith I'd had in him in regards to this last 9 plus months.  I have been looking at the possibility (and soon reality) of a c-section as punishment instead of protection.  The Lord is not not giving me what I want because he is being mean and punishing me.  He is doing it for my protection.  There is some reason I am not able to have a VBAC and I have finally come to terms with it.  I have found peace and I am so thankful that I am loved by a God who is as patient as mine. 
By this time tomorrow I will be seeing a sweet baby being lifted over a blue curtain and hearing that sweet first cry.  And I will find myself falling in love all over again.

There is an end in sight...

I know I should be excited about Thursday and I AM but I will also have a slight sense of disappointment if we make it to Thursday.  We have a scheduled c-section for Thursday morning.  I will finally be holding the sweet babe that has been in my belly for more then 9 months in my arms.  For that I am beyond ecstatic and couldn't be happier. 
However, if I make it to Thursday that means I never went into labor and my hopes for a VBAC are gone forever.  A lot of people might not understand my emotional turmoil about this subject. I know I should be thankful for the pregnancy and the fact that the baby is healthy and I am healthy and we are blessed to have another sweet babe coming into our family.  I am thankful for those things. To be quite honest I feel selfish when I think about how upsetting another c-section is for me.  Selfish or not I can't help it.  I do feel a slight sense of defeat and dysfunctionality.  I feel like my body was made to make and carry babies just not delivery them. I am really good at carrying the babies.  It's the going into labor and the follow through that seems to be the hard part for my body. 
Like last night, around 9:45 I was in the bed doing a word search and all of a sudden CONTRACTIONS! I was so excited. They were kind of strong and started coming regularly.  I laid there, breathed and actually enjoyed feeling them.  With Teagan I didn't have anything until I was in labor so I got really excited.  After about 30 minutes of regular contractions I went down and told Josh he might want to come up and get some rest because I really thought I was in labor.  They stopped about 10 minutes later.  I had a pretty sleepless night just waiting on another contraction or to feel my water break.  Nothing else happened.  So, of course I woke up this morning defeated.  I really thought I was going to wake up, Josh was going to take Teagan to daycare while I labored and then by the time he got back we would be heading to the hospital.  Needless to say I took Teagan to school and I'm doing last minute things for work.
I am trying to be positive about this.  I have had a healthy pregnancy.  We have a healthy baby who will be here on Thursday no matter what.  I know when I hold my sweet babe in my arms and to my breast for that first feeding that all these feelings of defeat will wash away.  I just hope those feelings stay away for good and don't surface to interfere with my bonding with Baby Bear.         

Anxiety

Lately I've become anxious about how Baby Bear is going to come into this world. 
Ever since I had my unplanned c-section with Teagan I have vowed to have a VBAC with my next one.  Now as the due date has approached I wonder if it's just a far fetched dream?  Satan really got into my head yesterday and rocked my world.  I am so thankful for a God who blessed me with a husband and friends who could talk me down from the proverbial ledge. 
When I found out I had to have a c-section with Teagan I was just ready to have her in my arms.  The disappointment of not being able to "have her" was not instantaneous, it came when I got pregnant again.  It brought out the "what if I just can't deliver a baby" questions.  There have been many times during this pregnancy when I have felt like it wasn't going to happen how I wanted.  The there have been times where I felt to my core that I am going to rock a VBAC (if I go into labor that is).
Right now I'm in the in between state of mind.  I want this baby to come out healthy.  I believe I can rock a VBAC but I have my anxieties about it.  I still carry the "she's too big" statements in my head I heard with Teagan.  They claim this baby is smaller then Teagan but what if Baby Bear isn't small enough?  I keep imagining the size of my pelvis and birth canal vs. Baby Bear and wonder How?  I was so confident with the idea of labor/delivery with Teagan but my view has been somewhat tainted since then. 
I will hold on prayerfully until the morning I get rolled into the OR with Josh at my side that I can have my wish of a VBAC.  After that I will be prayerful and thankful we have a happy and healthy baby and mommy.  In the end that is all really matters anyway...

39 weeks

One. More. Week. Until the due date...

We are 39 weeks today! I went to the doctor yesterday and everything looks great.  My weight has basically stopped going up (normal for right now), my blood pressure is great and even more important the baby's heart beat is good and strong! We haven't made any "progress" which isn't that surprising.  Dr. W says he won't be surprised if I go all at once like I did with Teagan.  So, the fact that I haven't dialated any yet isn't a problem and I shouldn't be discouraged. 
The game plan as of right now is just wait. Dr. W is going to let me go over 7 days.  When we hit the due date he is going to break my water, strip my membranes and basically do what he can to naturally help things along.  With a VBAC they don't like to medically induce (pitocin) so we went ahead and scheduled a c-section for October 27th.  Luckily it's scheduled with Dr. J the same doc that rocked my first c-section for me!  I'm okay with the possibility and so is Josh.  It's actually pretty exciting.  We have a date that Baby Bear will be here by!
As for now...we wait. And maybe eat a few oreos in the meantime...

Dearest Baby Bear

Dearest Baby Bear,
Oh mercy, my sweet babe! We have entered the home stretch!  We are 38 weeks today and we can go at anytime now!
We have had two false alarms.  Once I thought my water was leaking and the other was just the other day when I started having contractions.  I didn't have any real contractions with your sister until the day she was born so I was sure you were heading out of my belly and into my arms soon.  But, my arms are empty and my belly is fully. 
I cannot wait to hold you.  I will have you on my chest and your sister on my hip.  She can't wait to meet you!  She is so excited! I'm excited and your daddy is excited! We all want to cover you in love and kisses!  Your sister has already agreed to help me change your diapers and give you baths. 
As I write this you are moving around and I just sit and feel and be with you.  I often try to send you love vibes, as corny as it sounds.  Occasionally I will tighten up my belly and try and "hug" you.  You always react to it but I can't wait to hug you with my arms and not my belly.
It won't be too much longer! As anxious as I am to have you in my arms I would never wish you to come before YOU are ready. 

Forever & Always,
Mommy

Term week!!!

Wow! We have reached a pivotal point in the pregnancy!  On Thursday we will be full term! 37 flippin' weeks! That means, bring it on, Baby Bear!
We managed to get maternity pictures done before this little booger graces us with his/her presence.  They were all really good and candid! I would rather have candid pictures over posed any day.  Thankfully I have a sweet friend who offered to do them for us.  Here are a few of our faves:

We also took a few in the cow pasture, just Josh and I.  It pays to marry into a farming family.  The pictures were so funny they had to have a post all their own...trust me...

Checking Up!

How far along: 36 weeks

Weight gain: 28lbs total (Hello, far cry from the 70+ I gained with Teagan)
Baby's size: 5 1/2 lbs or so right now.  Doc is estimating a 7 1/2-8lb baby

Sleep: Still able to get a full nights sleep. Occasionally I will get up once during the night but for the most part I'm sleeping pretty regularly.  Thank goodness!

Clothes: I haven't bought anything new. Still truckin' along and getting creative.  Mostly I have 4 outfits on rotation because I refuse to buy new clothes at this point.

Baby movement: Quite the rolly-polly! This baby really likes to knead my internal organs with their hands. Quite an odd sensation. 

Baby position: Head down and face down.  Let's just hope Baby Bear stays that way!

Cravings: random things that I haven't given into for the most part (thanks to my husband). This is definitely part of the reason I have only gained 28 lbs at 36 weeks. But, I won't lie, I did eat 8 Oreos and milk the other day at lunch...And OMGoodness NOM NOM NOM!!

Labor signs: The occasional "real" contraction mostly brought on by being overly tired or stressed. The Braxton-Hicks have definitely been getting stronger. Neither have been "productive". We are still "high & tight" as the doc puts it.

Inie or Outie: I actually have a little outie this time because of how Baby Bear is positioned. Not enough to be a full blown outie but it's there!

We had a doctor's appointment yesterday to check the size of baby.  The game plan was to see how big the baby is now and see if we were going to have to schedule a c-section or if we were just going to let it play out.  Thankfully, Baby Bear is only around 5 1/2 pounds right now and Dr. W doesn't think she/he will get over 8lbs.  This means we are just going to let it play out.  So, thankfully, there is no planned c-section and the waiting game begins.  I am so excited about this! I told myself I wasn't going to stress and I wasn't going to get worked up but I have to admit I would have been a little disappointed if we had to have scheduled a c-section yesterday.  Now, if we do get to the point where a c-section becomes necessary then so be it.  The only reason that would be would be that baby doesn't drop or we get to the point they would need to medically induce.  Dr. W told me we would try everything to prevent having to do another c-section.  It was nice to hear.  It was also nice to hear the comment he made about me being one of his more reasonable patients.  I'm okay with just going with the flow. I only want whats best for me and for the baby.  However we manage to get there.  

Dearest Baby Bear

Dearest Baby Bear,
My sweet babe, it's almost time.  As I sit here writing this my eyes fill up with tears.  I cannot believe the time to hold you is almost here.  I've been aprehensive because I don't feel like I've given you the time I did your sister. I've been running around after her because she is a bundle of energy and most days I have to feed her and bathe her and help her brush her teeth!  I've barely had time for myself but I've loved you since we found out we were being blessed with another sweet babe.  As we grow closer to your due date my heart suddenly feels like it's going to explode with love.  I long to hold you and nurse you and have you nuzzle into my neck.  I can't wait to see you for the first time and tell you how much your daddy, your sister and I all love you.
I just want you to know we are all excited to meet you and hold you and love you.  We do want you to hang on at least another week and a half though. We want you to ate least be 37 weeks please! We want to be able to take you home right away so you just take all the time you want!

Forever and Always,
Mommy

Doctor's appointment.

We had a doctor's appointment yesterday, Baby Bear and I.  I came out with a huge smile.  It was quite the polar opposite of our last appointment.  The last appointment I left feeling defeated and like I had tried so to keep the weight down for nothing. The idea of a VBAC seemed like it was slipping away. Then, BAM, yesterday happened. I got to see one of my favorite docs.
The prognosis is great.  Dr. W and I discussed the VBAC option and basically we're playing it like a normal labor UNLESS we have the 36 week ultrasound and Baby Bear looks like he/she is going to be a whopper (basically around Teagan's size- 8lbs 10oz) and then we schedule the c-section.  Which, honestly, Josh and I are both okay with.  Like I've said before I would prefer to be able to deliver naturally but as long as the end result is a healthy baby and healthy mommy then it's okay either way.  So, we are back to an extremely optimistic outlook on this labor/delivery! Hooray!

Slightly disconnected.

Both of my pregnancies were/have been pretty easy.  Physically easy. Emotionally this prgnancy has been a little difficult.  During this pregnancy both Baby Bear and I have been put on the back burner.  Taking care of Teagan's needs have come first and I feel like they should. She is here and can't care for herself.  So, I (and Josh), have to.  Don't think I resent Teagan for this at all.  I love caring for Teagan.  The fact that I have let me an Baby Bear be put on the back burner has made it hard for me to focus on this pregnancy or Baby Bear at all.  That is my fault. NOT Teagan's.
I just feel so disconnected from Baby Bear.  I feel like  haven't had time to be excited.  I feel like I've barely had time to remember I'm even pregnant.  I don't feel like I know this baby.  With Teagan I knew every movement.  I knew her schedule.  I sang to her. I read to her. I spent hours rubbing my belly and day dreaming about holding her.  By the time I sit down at night I am so exhausted I can barely keep my eyes open. 
The feeling of disconnect scares me.  What if the feeling continues after Baby Bear gets here?  What if I'm not capable of loving nother baby? What if I just go through the motions?  What if I compare Baby Bear to Teagan? Should we have found out if Baby Bear is a boy or girl?  Would that have helped?  Would buying a few "things" specifically for Baby Bear make me feel more connected? Like "ohh, this is for Baby Bear"!  I feel like the emotionally floodgates are fixing to open at any time.  There are anywhere from 4-7 weeks before Baby Bear gets here.  There have been times I have just wished for this pregnancy to be over so I can hold Baby Bear.  So I can pove to Baby Bear that I DO love her/him.  So I can cuddle and nurse and rock.  So I can connect.  I almost feel more pressure to deliver vaginally and naturally.  I feel like that would help me feel with the connection.  I know that sounds kind of crazy but it's how I feel.  I am craving any kind of connection with my Baby. 
Have any of you felt like this? With your first? Second? Third? Was there anything that helped you? I feel so scared and so helpless. 

Goal: VBAC. The successful kind.

I don't make it a secret that I had a C-section with Teagan.  There is nothing to be ashamed of.  I had an incredibly successful c-section that I recovered marvelously from. Dr. James totally rocked it.  Was it my ideal way to bring our sweet girl into the world? No. Was it necessary? My doctor thought so and I trust my doctor.  We trust my doctors.  The ultimate goal of healthy baby/healthy mommy was met and that is what counts.
This go 'round we are aiming for a VBAC.  The doctors, Josh and I have discussed it and they are all for it as long as this baby is under 8 lbs (even though I have one doc who thinks Baby Bear is going to be a giant).  Also, the fact that I didn't develop gestational diabetes this time is playing in our favor. 
Honestly, I am starting to get a little nervous.  The nervous that started sneaking up around this time with Teagan. The HOLY COW THIS BABY HAS TO COME OUT nervous!!!  When I went into labor with Teagan the thought of a c-section hadn't really crossed my mind.  I did a lot of laboring at home and by the time we got to the hospital I was at 7cm and still going strong.  They say the second baby comes faster and there is a lot to consider with a VBAC so basically at the sign of real labor this time we'll need to head to the hospital.  This stirs a mixture of feelings through me.  I know why I need to get to the hospital quickly and we will but I am anxious about it.  I know the second we get into the room they are going to start hooking me up to everything under the sun to make sure things are going smoothly.  I get that. I really do. Am I excited about it? No. I don't want to be hooked up to a lot of things. I want to be free to labor in my "froggy" position like I did so well with Teagan and I want to be able to walk and shower and do it my way.  I am fearful it won't happen that way because of all the precautions that have to be taken.  Then there is still the possibility of a c-section that will linger until we go into labor.  We will have an ultrasound when I am 36 weeks to see what the size of Baby Bear is estimated to be and then a decision about the c-section will be made.  Until then we are going forward with the VBAC plan. 
Right now, as much as I want a VBAC, I am determined to stay open minded about the whole situation.  Josh and I have discussed it and obviously we are only concerned with the healthy baby/healthy mommy outcome no matter how we get there.

Last week of the 2nd trimester. Did I really just type that?

Wow, we've done it.  We have made it, rather successfully, to the 3rd trimester.  Well, on Saturday it will be official.  Right now I guess you can say we are at 27 weeks and a half.  Either way, at the risk of sounding like Paris Hilton , O-M-G! 
I went to the doctor today for the infamous O'Sullivan (glucose) test.  I laughed with Doctor Wicker when I got there and told him they should just give me the 3 hr so we could get on with it.  He told me my gestational diabetes future wasn't so bleak.  He said last time, at the 18 week test, I was at 122 and the cut off was 135 so there was still hope.  Either way it will be okay.  If I don't end up with it then I will look at it as a very pleasant surprise! If I do have it then it will be a huge test of my will power.   

Weight: 16lbs! Far cry from the almost 30 I had gained at this point with Teagan

Clothing: Still in the same clothes that I was 2 or so weeks ago.  I have only gained 2 pounds since my last apointment.  My belly is starting to get bigger because there is an already 2 lb baby growing in there! So, I am on the hunt for shirts long enough for me to wear now that won't swallow me whole after the baby gets here.  I am meeting my bloggy soon to turn real-world friend, Amanda from Miskabelle, on Friday and I plan on dragging her thrifting with me (she doesn't know it yet, hehe)! I am so excited to hug her neck and for Teagan & Aurora to officially meet!

Sleep: Still getting decent sleep.  Not undisturbed because like with Teagan, my hips hurt when I lay on them too long.  Thankfully, I'm still averaging a normal nights sleep. 

Mood:  Pretty much tapered off.  I haven't had a "down" moment in a week or so and I am thankful for that.  When I get too hot, in this lovely NC summer heat, I do get impatient and uncomfortable and a little short-tempered but otherwise I think my mood has been leveling off. 

Cravings: So far so good still.  Occasionally I will have a random wings or milkshake cravings but I've honestly only given into them once or twice.  It's not worth it.  If I eat it now I have to worry about working it off after the baby comes and I don't want to have to worry about it.  If the craving doesn't last more then an hour then I don't give into it.  I do have to be thankful for Josh when it comes to that.  Don't get the wrong idea.  He hasn't restricted me in anyway but he helps me through my cravings because he knows how bad I will beat myself up if I give in.  Sometimes his helping gets him a smart and not so nice remark back but I know he does it out of love and because I asked him to.  I have such a courageous husband. 

I'm feeling a little better about our lack of preparedness for this baby.  Colors for the room have been picked out and the top half of the wall has been painted.  Josh put down wood floors this weekend and will paint the bottom half of the room this week.  Furniture is underway, he makes all the baby's furniture, and so the ball is rolling.  I've come to the point of peace that "stuff" is not everything and as long as we have diapers and a few things of clothes and breastfeeding goes according to plan then we are set. 

25 weeks and a vomiting of emotional distress.

I have been beyond slacking in the weekly pregnancy posts but honestly I don't have nearly the time I had when I was pregnant with Teagan to post pictures or even type up how I'm feeling.  So, alas, 8 weeks after my last update here is another.

Clothing: I have 1 pair of maternity shorts and 3 pair of maternity pants that will more then likely last me until October.  The shirts are becoming a little more problematic because of certain areas other then my belly.  I have been wearing more dresses lately, none of them maternity.  I am trying hard to use what I have because this is the last time I will need maternity clothes so I don't want to buy anymore then I have to!

Sleep:  Unless we are camping on hard ground I usually manage about 6-7 hours total.  Now, this sleep is not undisturbed and peacful.  My hips ache a lot and so I do a lot of switching sides.  I am thankful that all the night bathroom trips haven't started yet!

Mood- I have my days.  Most days I am just fine and normal.  Once in a while a dark cloud will start to loom and I will stub my toe while trying to run for cover.  Those are not good days.  I get short-tempered and want to be but don't want to be around people.  I don't like the dark loomy cloud and wish it would go away but I really don't think it will ever leave me forever.  So I will deal and pray hard for guidance when I need to keep it in check. 

Cravings- Still not much of anything.  Most of the time it's still mind over matter with the occasional indulgence of a few oreos.  Oh! And watermelon!!

Exercise: I have been a lazy bum.  This heat is zapping me of any leftover energy I might have had at the end of a normal decent temperature day.  I loaned out my pre-natal yoga dvd and not really sure who to.  I think I need to just order a new one.  Yoga seemed to help a lot last time with the laboring part (before the emergency c-section) and I am hoping it will help all the way through this time.  Not to self: ORDER NEW DVD

Overall this pregnancy has been as easy as my pregnancy with Teagan.  My weight is better and they are estimating around 30 lbs of weight gain.  A far cry from the 50-55lbs I gained with Teagan!  I am still concerned about the gestational diabetes.  I go for my appointment on July 18th and I am trying to mentally prepare myself for it.  I think the gestational diabetes is inevitable.  It's really going to be tough this time though.  I was on a strict regiment last time that will be hard for me to replicate.  I will do my best and that is all I can do.     

I still feel like this pregnancy is a blur.  We are coming on to 14 and a half weeks left until Baby Bear's debut day.  We are not even close to being ready.  The nursery isn't cleaned out.  Colors haven't really been decided.  Furniture was put on hold because some people are mean, dishonest and suck.  The only thing I have is the crib blanket and 2 packs of newborn diapers.  I know we have some "stuff" from Teagan because we didn't go all girly on the big stuff but I still feel like we have nothing.  I haven't bought clothes, no socks, no shoes, no hats, no washcloths, no ANYTHING.  I do think part of it is because we didn't find out what gender Baby Bear is.  I was excited about the surprise aspect of it but "gender-neutral" is HARD.  I feel so unprepared.  It feels like I am standing in a sudden down pour with no umbrella and nowhere to go for cover.  It's coming and I'm not ready. 

17 weeks

Wow, 17 weeks! Time has flown by this go 'round.  We are almost at the half way mark! The belly has really popped...to say the least. 

Weight gained: 7-8lbs

Clothing: Wearing the 1 pair of maternity jeans that aren't too big for me.  I did buy a pair of white maternity pants that honestly I should have bought in another color but oh well, they'll come in handy.  I have 3 pairof my jeans that fit.  All of my dresses and most of the shirts fit.  There are a few shirts that the girls no longer fit in but for most part my shirts still fit. 

Sleep: Still good.  A little tossing and turning.  I am worried that my hips are going to kill me like they did with Teagan because they've already started getting sore because I'm sleeping on my sides. 

Mood: Eh, it's starting to kind of taper off.  I think at this point my hormones have started leveling off a little bit which is great.  Especially since Teagan is starting the temper tantrum age.  We might be finding an official time out spot soon.

Cravings: Honestly, not a whole lot.  I've craved random thinks like a sundrop slushy, which I haven't had in years, or wings.  I love milk but I'm not craving it like I did with Teagan.  Thanks to Josh a lot of it has been mind over matter.


My exercise hasn't been even remotely close to what it should be.  Even though chasing around a running 15 month old should count for something.  I'm lucky enough to have girl friends that I'm going to start walking with a few times a week starting tonight! I can't wait! Exercise and girl time! Nothing better!

Honesty is the best policy. Even if it's kinda gross.

Caution.  Pregnancy TMI ahead. 


I warned you.  So, if you decide to read passed the point above you do so at your own risk.  Just sayin'.  Pregnancy isn't all roses and butterflies, people. 
Anyway, I know a pregnant woman's body goes into crazy mode because I've done this before.  What I wasn't planning on this go 'round was the, well, we'll call them bladder issues.  It's only happened once (so far) and I was asleep so that counts for something, right?
I was having a dream the other night about being somewhere they wouldn't let anybody go to the bathroom.  It seemed like forever in the dream before we were let out so we could have a break.  I went into the bathroom and could not go (insert my awesome body trying to make me wake up before something dreadful happened).  Well, I tried enough to go in my dream that I went.  I went for real. Thankfully I woke up before disaster really struck but it was not a pleasant experience. 
My advice to pregnant ladies: if you are having a dream and you're trying to use the bathroom but you're body is fighting it try your hardest to wake up and use the bathroom before a disaster happens! 

15 weeks

*picture via Google Images*

I will be 15 weeks on Saturday.  I really can't believe we're already at this point.  This pregnancy is flying by.  It's a little daunting.  I feel sometimes that I'm not spending enough "time" with the baby in my belly because all of my focus is on taking care of Teagan. I spent a lot of time reading and singing and rubbing and thinking about Teagan when she was in my belly.  I know this baby hears all of that but it's all directed to Teagan.  I need to start taking a few minutes during the day to really just focus on this baby every single day. 

On to the "good stuff":

Weight gain- 4 1/2 - 5lbs depending on the day.  Most of the weight is in the "top" section of my body & that is all I'm going to say about that right now.

Size of Baby Bear- 4 inches long about the size of an apple!! Not even a pound yet!

Clothes- I can still fit in about 95% of my clothes.  My "hot mama" skinny jeans definitely got put in the back of the closet a few weeks ago.  I'm in that weird "I look like I've just let myself go, where is that round belly at" phase. 

Baby Bear's movement- Once or twice when I'm still and on the couch relaxing I've felt a little dainty roll that leaves as quickly as it comes.  It brings tears to my eyes every time. 

Cravings- ORANGES!!! I can tear through a 5lb bag in a week at work with no help.  Grape kool-aid. Mashed potatoes. Substation 2 subs (that I can't have but they sound SO very good).

Aversions- The thought of berries (blueberries, blackberries, raspberries) makes me sick.  Strawberries are okay and I can definitely eat them like crazy!

Feeling: Pretty great! I have my days where I feel exhausted, bloated and irritable but the pretty great days outweigh the bad.  Chasing Teagan around has helped me keep the weight down and not just sit and veg on the couch.  I do feel the exhaustion hit around lunch and so I grab a short lunch and a power nap at my parents after.  That has definitely helped me function and not burn out. 
I have struggled a little more mentally with the weight thing this time.  A lot rides on me keeping my wieght on the lower end of normal.  I was also trying to get down to a healthy goal weight when I got pregnant and so I am having to re-adjust my mental game.  It is going to take time but I have a very supportive husband who helps me keep it in perspective. 
(Guys in my life other then my husband should probably stop reading right now, TMI ahead)
Also, the girls are already HUGE!!! For those of you who know me you know that I hate boobs.  I always have.  I was wearing sports bras in high school & college just to smoosh them down everyday.  There have even been a few times during the years where I have seriously joked with friends who are "less full"  that I will share.  I am already up a size and I am only 15 weeks.  My milk never really had time to dry up and so I can only imagine how big they are going to get in the next 25 weeks.  YIKES!
Honestly, that would be my biggest and really only complaint.  I am truly thankful every single day for such a healthy pregnancy so far.  I will do my best to post an official 15 week picture on Saturday!

Make it a double

A double stroller that is...

You guessed it! Teagan is going to be a big sister in October!  We are very excited and cannot wait to start this new journey of becoming a family of four!
Here are the very basics for right now:
Yes, we were "not-not trying". Yes, we might be a little crazy.  No, we're not finding out (we don't think) the sex of the baby.  We are almost 13 weeks.  The due date is estimated at Oct 20th.  I feel great just pretty tired.  Josh has been amazing.  We think Teagan will be excited.  She already rubs my not quite there yet "belly belly".  She will be 21 months (give or take a few days) when "Baby Bear" is born.  So yes, that is 2 under 2 but just barely!  I have only gained 4 lbs and I'm still (thankfully) in my normal clothes but I don't think that is going to last much longer.

I will begin posting more about our journey in the coming weeks (maybe with a few belly pics mixed in) but for now we are just trying to spend as much time as we can with Teagan and I am trying to get as much rest as I can!  The exhaustion is even tougher the second time around when you add chasing a toddler to the mix!