It lasted a month.

We made it a month before the jealousy started.  My poor sweet Teagan wants her mommy. me. all the time.  Occasionally Mamaw will do but for the most part Teagan wants my undivided attention.  It rips me apart.  It's been a little hard to adjust my mindset to the fact that there are two sweet girls that need my attention now not just one.  I find myself occasionally trying to take them both on at the same time.  One on one hip and the other in the crook of my other arm.  It's exhausting and frustrating all at the same time. 
My sweet husband tries to help but right now it's hard and I know frustrating for him.  I am Kyra's main caregiver right now basically because I provide her with nutrition and she's with me during the day and night so she favors me.  Teagan is realizing she doesn't always have my undivided attention and that is something she wants back so she only wants me right now.  My heart hurts when I see Teagan kicking and screaming for me when Josh is trying to comfort her.  I see hurt in his eyes and my heart breaks for him.  It will be better soon, it's just something Teagan is going to have to go through but it doesn't make it any easier on him right now.  I know how hard it's been for me the times she's been with just me and screams for her daddy.  It breaks my heart so I know his is breaking too.
Thankfully, this jealousy has not turned into resentment towards Kyra.  Teagan still loves on Kyra and wants to hold her hand and kiss and hug her.  We pray this is how it remains.  That Teagan will not hold resentment (in her toddler way) towards her sister. 
We have definitely come through the "honeymoon phase" of having 2 under 2 and now reality is kicking in.  We don't regret having Kyra in ANY WAY but we are now beginning the real learning process of how we are going to live with this new normal of ours.  Thankfully we have an amazing support system.  I know this will work itself out. It's just surviving the working itself out part.

Thankgsiving.

Thanksgiving this year was a total blur. I'm learning quickly that a lot of days are like that when you have a one month old and a 22 month old.  It was a happy blur at least.  I took no pictures but it was one of those days where it was okay.  I was just happy enjoying the company of family, some of whom we don't see that often. 
Josh and I are lucky enough to have parents that genuinely get along with each other.  So, Thanksgiving for our families is quite easy.  We rotate. Every year it's either at our house, my parent's house or Josh's parent's house.  This year it was at Josh's parents house.  His mom is the kinda lady who can do everything. Literally. The woman made my wedding dress. Enough said.  So, the food was amazing but it wasn't the best part.  The best part was seeing Teagan running around being loved on by everybody and having Kyra be passed from loving arm to loving arm.  There were times when my arms were empty but my heart was about to burst.  We are so blessed with two amazing little girls but even more so with a family who loves them more then they'll ever know. 

Hard but worth it.

Has it really been three weeks already?  It actually seems like it's been longer then three weeks as Kyra has settled in quite nicely to make our family of three an even four. 
I do have to admit it seems like it's been a little harder this go-round.  Just readjusting to a newborn compared to a fully functioning-can tell me what she wants-toddler.  Sometimes I have to just breath through the frustration and remember that Kyra is really only 3 weeks old and crying is the only way she can tell me something is not right.  During the day it's not as bad but after the sun goes down my patience level sometimes goes with it.  Thankfully the older she gets the more adjusted I become.  Josh keeps a watchful eye on my feelings and actions as we want to make sure I don't slip into postpartum depression.  Since I've been diagnosed with clinical depression in the past we definitely don't want something like that sneaking up on us.  Thankfully I have a husband who knows what to look for in me.  Right now, I call what I'm feeling "night time baby blues" as it usually comes on when the sun goes down.  Prayerfully that is all it will be and prayerfully it will slowly but surely get better.   
Kyra is such a joyful addition to our family.  She really is quite calm and doesn't cry as often as I sometimes think she does.  She has a gentle spirit about her already.  She seems to love Teagan and tolerates all her kisses and sometimes not gentle enough hugs.  Teagan is purely smitten with Kyra and can't stop talking about her and "lovin'" on her.  Kyra gets more love then Josh & I combined!  Kyra has started staying awake for longer stretches which sometimes means play time and sometimes means crying.  All the walking I do around the house (she's a moving baby) is surely going to help me lose the dreaded baby weight! haha!
We have been so blessed with friends and family and their kindness.  We've barely had to cook since we got home from the hospital because friends from church and friends not from church have brought meals almost 3 nights a week! The kindness we have been shown during this time surpasses anything we could have imagined.

Teagan meets Kyra

We were actually kind of anxious about Teagan meeting Kyra because she has a tendency to be very "that's MY mommy" whenever I pay attention to other babies. I was beyond amazed, and continue to be, at how she took to Kyra. She first met her on Saturday when we got home from the hospital. Teagan stayed with Josh's parents while we were in the hospital so Grandma brought her by to meet Kyra.  She was so excited to see her! She had to make sure she had hands and feet and diapers and that she stayed covered and didn't get cold. Then she was over it and started to play with all the "stuff".

 

 

Teagan has continued to adjust well to her new baby sister. Kyra's crying doesn't phase her and her temper tantrums don't phase Kyra. Teagan hugs and kisses Kyra more then she does anybody else and has to say "night-night" and "mornin'" to her every day. We are truly blessed with two amazingly sweet and beautiful girls.

Kyra Mae

So, this is basically 2 weeks late thanks to a killed over laptop & a sleep deprived mommy of 2 under 2.

Making her way into the world...
Kyra Mae

8lbs 2.3oz, 21inch
10/27/2011 at 7:11am via VBAC

Make it a double

A double stroller that is...

You guessed it! Teagan is going to be a big sister in October!  We are very excited and cannot wait to start this new journey of becoming a family of four!
Here are the very basics for right now:
Yes, we were "not-not trying". Yes, we might be a little crazy.  No, we're not finding out (we don't think) the sex of the baby.  We are almost 13 weeks.  The due date is estimated at Oct 20th.  I feel great just pretty tired.  Josh has been amazing.  We think Teagan will be excited.  She already rubs my not quite there yet "belly belly".  She will be 21 months (give or take a few days) when "Baby Bear" is born.  So yes, that is 2 under 2 but just barely!  I have only gained 4 lbs and I'm still (thankfully) in my normal clothes but I don't think that is going to last much longer.

I will begin posting more about our journey in the coming weeks (maybe with a few belly pics mixed in) but for now we are just trying to spend as much time as we can with Teagan and I am trying to get as much rest as I can!  The exhaustion is even tougher the second time around when you add chasing a toddler to the mix!