Kyra is 1 month already!

I still can't quite wrap my head around Kyra being 1 month old.  Some days it seems like we just brought her home and other days it feels like she's been in our lives forever (in a good way).

Kyra is weighing in maybe around 9lbs.  She was doing so well at her one week check up that we won't have to go back until her two month so we're not sure about her weight right now.  I did measure her though and she is right at 22 inches already! She's grown an inch in a month! This makes clothing a little difficult.  She is right at too long for newborn clothes but far too skinny for most 0-3 clothes just yet. 

Kyra is a pretty good sleeper.  We've started her on a routine, of sorts, like we did with Teagan so her body starts adjusting to wanting to sleep around 8ish.  Most times this works out and I can get her down by 9-9:30 and other nights I'm up rocking her until 10-11.  Kyra is swaddled and honestly could take it or leave it but it helps her stay asleep through the jerky movements she makes while she is sleeping so we will continue to swaddle.  She usually sleeps a good 4-5 hours the first round at night and then another 3-4 after I get up and feed her at night.  She is definitely up by 8 every day and typically doesn't want to go back to sleep until around 11-12ish.  She isn't the best napper and sleeps during the day in 1-2 hr stretches but if that is how it's going to be to get those 5 hour stretches at night then so be it!

Kyra was a great "nurser" from day one.  I think this is partly because I was able to nurse her within 45 minutes of her birth and I knew what I was doing this go 'round.  She is very efficient in her nursing ability.  Kyra can "empty" one side in 10-15 minutes and be done.  Done as in doesn't want the other side, is completely satisfied, just burp her and she's done.  This has been good and bad in some ways.  It makes nursing time shorter but my "girls" are getting adjusted to that and so pumping has been a little off.  She also isn't a fan of being put down for long periods of time so pumping is kind of difficult.  Hopefully this will remedy itself soon seeing as I have to go back to work in January.

Kyra is still kind of fickle about the paci.  She is slowly taking it more and more but so far she isn't a huge fan of it.  She still won't really take it at night but we're working on it. 

Kyra is holding her head up well.  I credit her and Teagan for that.  Kyra loves to watch Teagan and is usually instantly alert when she senses her sister is near.  When Kyra is on her tummy she can move her head from one side to the other with ease.  When I have her on my chest trying to walk/bounce her to sleep at night she likes to move her head from side to side before she gets settled.

Just these last few days she has started "talking". I forgot how darn cute it is! We had our first conversation the other day after I changed her diaper.  We just talked and talked for about 5 minutes.  Be still my heart!  Kyra has also started smiling more.  Not the gas bubble smiles but genuine random but super sweet smiles.

I have been using the Moby Wrap (thanks Jeana!) with Kyra and I am in LOVE with it.  Kyra likes it too.  She likes to be right on me and the Moby Wrap is perfect.  There is nothing between us (other then clothing) and she can just snuggle right on to my chest. It's amazing. I only wish I'd had it with Teagan!

We are dealing with baby acne.  Well, not really dealing with it because there is nothing we can do for it but Kyra has it.  Poor baby is broken out worse then a middle school boy that just hit puberty.  Teagan never had baby acne so it's a little odd for me.  The hardest part for me has been not to mess with it!  Kyra is still amazingly beautiful though, there's no debating that!


Every day we are adjusting to our lives with a new baby.  I often catch myself just sitting back and looking at Josh and Teagan and Kyra in wonder.  These are mine. Josh and I were blessed to put our hearts and souls into two new beings.  The Lord blessed us more then we deserve and I hope that we are reminded of that every time we look into these two girl's sparkling blue eyes.  May we never forget how blessed we truly are.

Step Back.

Have you ever just taken a step back and watched? I try to do this on occasion with Josh and Teagan.  When I do I am never disappointed and I always seem to be amazed at what I am looking at.  I have seen my husband change so much over the last few years of us becoming man and wife.  I have seen even more change in him as he has become a father. A daddy.  He has an old soul that comes with a calmness I can only strive for.  He is driven by purpose and a strong need to provide for his family. For me, Teagan and Baby Bear. As Teagan gets older his and her bond get stronger and stronger.  I see a new light in his eyes that never seems to waiver.  It began when he carefully and gently held her for the first time. She was his.  Forever.  With Teagan it is almost as if Josh has a new sense of purpose for his life.  Every bone in my body believes he would go to the ends of the earth and back for her.  I wouldn't want it any other way. 

And Teagan. Oh my sweet Teagan. She loves her daddy with such a sweet innocence that sometimes it's almost surreal.  She knows her daddy's voice, his footsteps and the sound of his car pulling into the garage.  The light in her eyes when she hears the creak of the kitchen door often brings tears to my eyes.  She knows Daddy is home.

As bittersweet as time passing is I still feel a curious anxiety for the time to come.  I anxiously await being able to step back and see just how the bond of father-daughter grows. How their love for each other defies the odds.  No matter what they might be.

Dearest Teagan

Dearest Teagan,
It's been a little hard the last few weeks.  You have entered hardcore "tantrum mode".  This is hard for all of us.  Your dad and I want to teach you the best we can.  We want to guide your heart not just your behaviors.  We are ignoring your tantrums.  Honestly, some days it's really hard to ignore because it's easier to just pick you up and do what we're doing with you in arm but we know that isn't going to teach you anything.  I want you to know when we ignore you while you are throwing a fit we still care but we are teaching you that is not the way you get what you want. 
Our goal is to guide your heart because that is the root of everything.  It's pretty easy to alter behaviors.  We could teach a puppy to alter their behavior.  Helping you realize why certain behaviors are acceptable and why others are not is the key to what we are trying to teach you.  That fact is a burden we don't take lightly.  We have been entrusted with you. All of you.  Heart, Mind, Body & Soul.  We love you and only want to do what is best for you. 
I hope you can always realize that Daddy & Mommy love you and we will always do what we think is best for you.  We are all making this jouney together.  We will make just as many mistakes as you but we will learn from them together.

Forever & Always,
Mommy

4 years

Hard. Blissful. Tears. Joy. Challenging. Educational. Lovely. Rewarding. Passionate. Fulfilling. Adventurous. Laughter. Sweet. Fun. Momentous. Tough. Heart warming. Connective.

These last four years being married to Josh have been amazing.  It is almost like I prepared my whole life to be with him.  Sure, we've had our difficulties but we've ended up on top every single time.  We've done it together.  We've become intertwined completely.  There is no single unit anymore.  We have truly become one.  I feel like we've become that symbolic ring we both wear on our fingers.  There is no end and no beginning with us anymore.  We just are. We always have been.

Now, we have a sweet little girl and a baby on the way.  It's almost as if we had so much love between us that it exploded twice into two new entities.  Our love for each other manifested into two other human beings.  That is such a beautiful thing. 

I am truly blessed to be married to Josh.  He has been my rock for so many years and I don't nearly recognize it enough.  He is my provider and care taker.  He is my calm when I find myself in the storm.  The Lord blessed me with a level headed husband because he knew that I am capable of being an emotional wreck and that I would need somebody to hold the compass and lead the way.