I
struggled a very long time with
self-esteem issues, with issues of
never feeling good enough or smart
enough. I was the girl who was best friends with the smartest of our class, who never felt like I could ever
be as smart as them. I am sure there are
quite a few ladies out there who can
relate. I suffered through an
eating disorder, clinical
depression and just a general
self-hatred for
much longer than I should have. Over the last few years the feeling will come
less and less but it's not gone. Occasionally it will
creep in. These feelings have been what really
held me back from applying to graduate school. I was scared of
rejection. Even though I knew
if I could just get INTO school that I could do it...I still couldn't even bring myself to try.
It's funny how the LORD works...
He kind of just
pushed me over the edge but was at the bottom ready to catch me. He basically put a "now or never" situation into my path and
Josh and I trusted, blindly. It was the most
incredible feeling I've ever felt. Pure blind faith. I had no anxiety test day, I had no anxiety when I clicked on the submit button for my application. I knew, whether I got in or not that
He does all things for our good and we would
be okay.
