Delicious and Oh. So. Easy.

We try to eat at home with home cooked meals as much as possible.  Occasionally Chick-fila and Dominos or Papa Johns darken our door step but more often then not we're eating from the pantry.
Josh found a great recipe for chicken enchiladas in a white sauce while searching online the other day.  Understanding the blog world, the recipe came from Joyful Mama's Kitchen and it was wonderful and easy.  I just made a few moderations. 

The recipe on the website is as follows:

Chicken enchiladas with green chili sour cream sauce

10 soft taco shells

2 cups cooked, shredded chicken

2 cups shredded Monterey Jack cheese

3 Tbsp. butter

3 Tbsp. flour

2 cups chicken broth

1 cup sour cream

1 (4 oz) can diced green chillies

1.  Preheat oven to 350 degrees.  Grease a 9x13 pan

2. Mix chicken and 1 cup cheese.  Roll up in tortillas and place in pan.

3. In a sauce pan, melt butter, stir in flour and cook 1 minute.  Add broth and whisk until smooth.  Heat over medium heat until thick and bubbly.  

4. Stir in sour cream and chilies.  Do not bring to boil, you don't want curdled sour cream.

5. Pour over enchiladas and top with remaining cheese.

6. Bake 22 min and then under high broil for 3 min to brown the cheese.

What I did differently was this:
I made cooked the chicken in taco seasoning.  You know, the kind out of the packet (gasp). I think it would have been a little plain had I not.
I didn't use the green chillies.  Instead I used a fresh salsa and it was really good.
Next time I won't use as much sour cream and I will remember to put the chicken stock in to thin it out.

Overall I thought it was a good recipe.  Easy to make and easy to change up depending on your flavor preferences.  If you give it a try let me know how you liked it!


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Guilt.

Postpartum depression has a tendency to fill me with guilt.  Currently it's over Kyra not being a snuggler.  I know it's such a simple thing.  But part of me wonders if I made her not want to snuggle. Maybe she felt my frustration in the early months and figured she'd do better on her own.  Maybe I shouldn't have started swaddling her for afternoon naps so early.  Maybe I should have stayed home more so I could hold her and she wouldn't be confined to a carseat instead of being in my arms.  There are so many negatives maybes that bombard my brain and inevitably my heart. 
Today I was going to snuggle her all day.  She got shots this morning and I vowed I wouldn't even be on the computer.  I would snuggle her on the couch and play with her and do absolutely nothing but be with her.  Shots are no fun and she needed, I was sure, some Mommy lovin' to make her feel better.  Wrong. She fell asleep in her car seat on the way home and looked so peaceful that I didn't dare wake her.  So, I waited.  When she woke up I instantly got her out and walked her around holding her.  We played for a little while and then she got hungry.  I fed her, we played a little while longer and then she started to get tired.  I gave her the paci and she snuggled up a little but didn't settle down.  I bounced her and bobbed her and she calmed for a little while.  She was like a little frog curled up on my chest as I walked around., eyes wide open.  Finally I gave up when she started fussing again.  I took her to her room, swaddled her, gave her the paci and she was out.
My heart fell and I started to cry.  What have I done to my child that she doesn't want me? Doesn't want to be rocked or loved on?  Wants to be swaddled and left alone instead of me holding her? I go back to work next week and I feel like it's been a waste of maternity leave.  Have I not paid her enough attention?  One of the main reasons we kept Teagan at school was so I could have one on one time with Kyra.  So I could bond with her.  I feel like a failure right now.  Sure, it could just be her personality.  She could prefer laying down and settling herself to sleep.  Josh figured that out a month ago and so we've laid her down at night basically awake and swaddled and in a few minutes she's a sleep.  Even if that is the case I feel like it's my fault.  I feel like the postpartum depression sucked my bond with Kyra out from under me.  Those important few weeks of her life were screwed up by me.  I didn't do what I should have emotionally as a Mommy of a new baby and now it's coming back to bite me in the butt.  It breaks my heart.   

Dearest Kyra Mae

Dearest Kyra Mae,
Well, Baby Girl, we've made it through the first two months.  It's hard to believe, and remember, sometimes you've only been here two months.  It just seems like you've always been.  Like we have always been a family of four.
You and I have struggled a bit but we continue to learn each other day by day.  Unfortunately, my hormones got all out of whack and I wound up with postpartum depression.  It made me, and some days still does, a little distant from you.  I am so sorry for that.  Even in my distance I want you to know how much I love you.  You made our family whole.
We are all slowly but surely adjusting to our new roles and new norms.  You actually make it pretty easy to be a mommy of two.  You have a sweet and patient nature about you that just takes the chaos and allows it to roll off your back like it's nothing.  You are so alert and observant!  You basically came out of the womb with your eyes open, holding your head up ready to conquer the world.  As sweet natured as you are I think you will be a force to be reckoned with.  Watch out world, here comes Kyra!
The way you are with your sister makes my heart smile.  You watch her like she is the best thing since a clean diaper and you talk to her like she's your best friend already.  She loves you so much.  She loves holding your hand in the car and tells me if she thinks you need something. Anything.  You tolerate her sometimes overabundance of love with a gummy smile.  Although, you aren't above telling her when you've had enough but that isn't very often.
I can't wait to see whats in store for you as you grow up.  There are so many things I want for you to know and see and do.  I can only pray I will be a mommy who is capable of showing you and teaching you.  I know without a doubt that I will at least be a mommy who loves you no matter what.  Postpartum depression be damned.

Forever and Always,
Mommy

When in need of Vitamin C use your toddlers on the go pouches.

We've all got the "snots" in my house and a sick Mommy, especially a breastfeeding Mommy, is one who has to suck it up and pray she doesn't get super sick. 
In order to not get super sick I am trying to up my vitamin C intake and push the fluids (ie- water, chicken noodle soup and refraining from milk for now).  I decided to make a smoothie today and in order to increase my vitamin load up I put in one of Teagan's Ella's Kitchen pouches.  The parsnips, apples and carrots pouch to be exact.  Honestly I don't know if I've ever had a parsnip in my life but if they always taste like that then bring it on!!

This is the recipe for my smoothie concoction.
ice
half a pouch of Ella's Kitchen carrot, apple, parsnip (it's a three in one)
a forth of a cup of frozen fresh blueberries
a forth of a cup of Bolthouse Farms "Hawaiian Holiday" juice
two splashes of Almond Milk
pulse in a blender or in my case a Magic Bullet
drink & enjoy

If you'd like to try this smoothie for yourself we are giving away some Ella's Kitchen goodness on the blog! Only 3 more days to enter! The giveaway ends on January 2nd! Here are the details.

Jumping on the "Our 2011" bandwagon.

January- Sweet Teagan turned 1!! She shared her birthday with her best friend Matilda and then her sweet friend Izze was born that day too!

*picture via*

February- At Teagan's doctor appointment her amazing doctor wrote her a prescription for no hot dogs or juice at school. We love her doctors!

March- The age of the tantrums begin...

April- This was a big month for us! We announced Teagan was going to be a big sister, she had an awesome play date with her best gal pal and she colored Easter eggs for the first time!

May- We had our first ultrasound and we didn't find out if we were having a boy or girl.

June- We said Bye Bye to Teagan's Binky, Josh and I celebrated our four year anniversary and I talked about Gestational Diabetes.

July-We were 25 weeks and I had an emotional vomit, I prepared for BlogHer '11 and I talked about Papaws.

August- I waddled around BlogHer '11 and learned a few things.  Then we set off on an extrucitatingly long road trip to Vermont.

September- We hit 37 weeks and decided to have a family picture day thanks to Jada J!!

October- Kyra Mae Reid is born and I rocked a successful VBAC but honestly didn't blog about it until November, what? I was kind of busy!

November- Kyra hit the one month mark and we hunted for a Christmas tree with the Heavner's!

December- Teagan sang "Happy Birthday, Jesus" with her bff Matilda in their school Christmas program, I talked about and admitted to having Postpartum depression and how frustrating breastfeeding has been this time, and sweet Kyra turned 2 months old! Of course we celebrated Christmas as well!

Stroller running. Not. Happening. Just sayin.

You know those women who come whizzing pass you on your run pushing the jogging stroller with three kids in it?  I will never be one of those women. NEVER.
I tried.  Trust me, I tried.  When we first had Teagan I declared I was going to be that mom.  The one in the cute running pants and bright pink tank top pushing my baby while running.  Come to find out I am most definitely not that mom.
Two reasons come to mind when figuring out why I'm not the stroller pushing running mom.  First, I really need my arms to run.  I cannot run to save my life, well maybe if it was life or death I could, without moving my arms.  I take that back, I can run without moving my arms but it's really uncomfortable and then I end up running looking like a half turtle half penguin. Get the visual. It's not pretty.  Second reason.  Running is my time.  I love my husband and my girls but running is just for me.  Time to think my thoughts and pound out my frustrations on the pavement.  Now, when I am running I do think of my family and how one day the girls and I might run together.  I think about sweet Getty who I run to raise money for in the races I participate in.  I think about her mom, Kate, who I hope to go for a run one day with while Josh and Mark watch the girls.  The three girls that will most definitely be in tutus while they play. 
No matter the reason I run or how hard I might have tried I will never be a stroller pushing running mom and I am a-ok with that.

*Speaking of running. If you're going to be in the California area and like to run or walk you should check this out! It's on my birthday and it hurts my heart I won't be able to run it this year...next year DEFINITELY!

Kyra Mae at 2 months

2 whole months! 

Kyra Mae weighs a little over 10 lbs.  Not sure how much over 10 but I'm sure she is almost to 11!  Kyra is around 23-24 inches long and skinny like her daddy! She is a Reid through and through!
Kyra is in size 1 diapers still and probably will be for a while.

*speaking of diapers Kyra HATES to be wet and has a regular pooping schedule of 3 days. Yeah, the girl only poops every 3 days.  It doesn't bother her and it comes out normal so the doc said no prob. We'll go with it...
*loves the light and the fan! She also loved her some Christmas lights! She zones out staring at them!
*She has started the "Ah-goos" and talking more and more.  She loves chatting up with me during her diaper changes.
*Gave us her first her non-gas smile around 1 month and is starting to smile more and more.
*Has the text book "maaamaaa" scream when she's hungry.
*Gets the hiccups at least three times a day.  We have grown to hate the hiccups in this family.
*Loves taking a bath and looking at and playing with Teagan while she does.  Teagan helps me keep her warm and wash her feet. 
*Eats around every 3 hours and has started going 5-8 hours a night.
*She could still care less about being swaddled and has started wiggling out of it occasionally but it helps her sleep so we'll keep doing it. 
*Is great in the mornings! She chit chats with me while I brush my teeth and wash my face.
*We're still working on the paci. She will take it but sometimes it takes a little convincing. Slowly but surely.
*Josh has given her the first bottle and she did really well.
*Not a big fan of being in the car seat unless she is alseep.  That makes car rides and shopping a little difficult.  She is okay for awhile but once she's done she is done. 
*can lift her head up and bob it up and down.  She has amazing head control for her age. I think it's her adapting to trying to keep up with watching what Teagan is doing.
*Gets cranky around 10ish in the morning and then again around 6-8ish at night.  The only thing that will usually settle her down at this time is bobbing.  lots of bobbing.
*She is a serious cat napper in the mornings.  She takes a few 20-30 minute naps until around 12:30-1ish and then I swaddle her and she naps for 2-3 hours.  

*Loves the moby wrap for walks.  since we don't have a double stroller yet she goes in the moby and Teagan goes in the stroller. it works!

We're still learning the ins and outs of our new norm as a family of four.  Thankfully, Kyra's sweet nature is helping us through it.