Starting over.

A few months ago, I basically put my running shoes in the closet and looked at them with disgust every time I walked in the closet. I thought I was over the fact that my IT band became my nemesis during my first marathon and that I'd had to bow out, not so gracefully, 10 miles before the finish line. And physically, I believe I was good a few weeks after. However, I did not take into account the psychological and emotional toll that failure would take on my body. I thought I was going to just bounce right back into training but that was not the case. It was not until the last few days that I felt even close to prepared to start again. And I am finding out that is exactly what I'm doing. Starting over. It's not easy and it feels almost like I've never ran before. However, days like today, made me remember what my body is capable of. My body is ready to get back on the proverbial track but most importantly I think my emotions and my pride have healed enough to start over. And start over we will do...

Oh conviction.

Have you ever had one of those weeks where you wallowed? Where you felt that nothing was right, everything in your life was turned against you and everybody else was better off than you? When you turn to everything that isn't going to help? I had one of those weeks. I was angry and jealous and impatient and I was downright nasty. It breaks my heart to type those words but I've never shielded this blog from the truth and I don't intend to now.
This morning I went into church angry and jealous and just eh. When I left, conviction had grabbed my heart and a wave of peace had washed over me like a summer rain. I sang the whole way home. We're going deeply through the book of Mark until Easter. This morning Pastor Brian was talking about how Jesus calls, teaches/forgives, and heals. He spoke to the paralytic that was lowered from the rooftop for healing, out of his faith and the faith of his friends. He spoke about how Jesus told the man his sins were forgiven and not to be healed. He spoke about Jesus being more concerned about our deepest issue which is our heart. Pastor Brian also talked about things getting in the way of us hearing the call from being fishermen to fishers of men. That friends, that one hit me in the face. The way I handle and feel about my week is ninety-nine percent contingent on how much time I am using to seek out my sweet Jesus. This week I just buried my head in the sand and boy could I tell, as could my husband and my children.  How can I hear the call the Lord has on my life if I have my head buried in the sand? So, this week I am challenging myself. To keep my head out of the sand, at least to the point my ears are sticking out enough to listen.