Monday, April 16, 2012

Easier. Never easy.

I don't think leaving the girls is ever going to be easy.  I think it will get easier each time but never easy.  I dropped the girls off at their grandparents and drove away with only a few tears.  I rode with the windows down blasting the radio and singing as loudly as I could.  The sun beaming down while I rolled my arm with the wind.  Here lately Teagan doesn't really like the windows down because her hair blows in her face so windows down is a treat for me.  Especially on a sunny day.
When I got home I jumped in the shower but not before turning the monitor off.  I enjoyed a shower, knowing there wouldn't be somebody needing immediate attention the second my foot hit the rug.  I blow dried my hair and curled it.  I spent a few minutes picking out my outfit (well, like 30 and a few txt messages/sent pics for opinions) and then got ready, slowly and thoughtfully. 
Josh and I enjoyed a nice evening.  We called the girls on the road to tell them "night-night" and then we were wrapped up in nothing but each other the rest of the night. 
When we got home I thought I would probably cry like I'd done any other time we'd left the girls over night (you know, the whole two times) but I didn't.  I did, however, go stand in each of their rooms for a minute.  I stood there and thought about them, and prayed for them each individually.  I knew they were in very capable hands.  I knew that their grandparents were loving them with an intensity that almost matched mine and Josh's.  All was well.  Easier but not easy. Never easy.