That place.

I've spoken a few times about my struggles with depression on here.  Right now I can feel myself sinking a little bit back into the familiar edges of the dark shadows.  As you all know, I graduated in May with my MSW (Masters of Social Work) and I currently have my provisional LCSW, however the job field is not being good to me.  I've got a family to think about and I refuse to sacrifice time with them for a job.  There are some jobs, but they are much farther than we would like them to be and we are not going to sacrifice our girls stability (they have been in the same daycare since they were 3mths old) for a job. However, bills will continue to come in and that is hard while the money is absolutely not.  It's been a really hard month for me.

I'm trying to keep myself busy.  I've started training for a marathon (more on that later).  I'm trying to focus on the fact that my God is truly in control.  I am trying to focus on my family and finding joy in the faces of my sweet little ladies.  So, if it's a little quiet around here I'm sorry.  I covet your prayers dear friends.  For peace and provision and trust.  

Belated anniversary!

Josh surprised me with a weekend getaway for our anniversary!  We got to head to the Gatlinburg/Pigeon Forge, TN area and had a blast!  These are a few pictures from this weekend:

Looking cute for the hubs for our mountain adventure!
Shorts-thrifted (Deliahs brand)
Shirt-Target (clearance rack)
Shoes- I really do not remember.  I just remember I got them on sale last summer! 

On the way! 

We had the windows down.  NOT good for my hair.  I had tangles for days. 

This restaurant was fantastic!
Shirt-Target (many, many years ago)
Skirt-Target (three years ago)
Bag-thrifted, Nine West
Flippers- Rainbows

Loved this sweet music man! 

Look at that view!

Beautiful wood carving! Made me think of Getty!

Attack of the octopus! 

The dragon thought Josh's head was a toy! 

The fit quite nicely! 

Checking out the engine! 

Love this man. 

Centipede on our trail run with a little walking. 

Beautiful at the top!

Handsome man. 

I was getting sprayed. 

Checked off one more thing on my list of things to do before I  die.  Climb a water tower! 

Relaxing after the trail run/walk! 

Beautiful. 

I never knew there were so many moonshine flavors! Blackberry was the best.  Proceed with caution. 

We decided to take a picture of where we parked in Asheville so we wouldn't forget! 

HAD to stop here for lunch.  Love this place!! 

Teagan was asleep on the couch and Kyra was asleep on Grandma when we walked through the door.  It was all I had not to wake them up!!

They finally woke up!! 

6 years.  And still going.  This man has my heart forever. 

Kyra Mae, lately.

19 months.  19 months and a few weeks to be exact, well, without being too exact.  This little girl turns our lives upside down on a daily basis.  I don't know that I would say she is opposite of Teagan but she is truly her own and honestly, I am thankful for that.
Kyra Mae is strong willed and a girl who knows what she wants.  She stands her ground, even if it means 45 minute escape from reality tantrums.  Don't get me wrong, those are not too close in frequency, but they happen folks. They happen.
Kyra Mae takes after her daddy in height (she is tall, like already passed Teagan's shoulders tall) and slim built.  She needs 24 mth length and 18 mth fit.  Her hair is growing and she LOVES hair bows in her hair.  She runs up to me in the mornings and pats her head while she says "Mommy, heybow peeze".  Now if only she would run up to me like that when it's time to get her diaper changed...
She adores her sister, most of the time.  Kyra is really playing with Teagan now and not just beside her.  Kyra loves to make "cupcake" and spoon feed them to anybody who is willing to taste test.  She loves to have a baby, a stroller, and a "pockbook" when playing at our house.
Kyra's vocabulary has really taken off the last few weeks.  I think it helps that she hears us talking to Teagan like she's a grown up.  Kyra has also learned some of her colors and can point out pink, purple, and occasionally blue.  She loves looking for airplanes and loves buses.  She also loves to sign "bus".  I think it's her favorite.  She currently has an obsession with "Ehmo" and "Min Mouse" and "Mick Mouse".  
As far as food goes it's hit and miss.  We can almost always get a banana in her and that is about it.  Everything else depends on the day of the week, the position of the sun, and then number of shooting stars from the night before.
Kyra changes so much from day to day now.  She is not baby anymore and I am constantly reminded of that.  It's truer every day that the second baby grows up quicker than the first.  We are trying to hold onto our "real" lives as much as possible because we don't want to miss a thing.

Let's talk about...

You know. That. Yes that.

Eventually we will have to have "the talk" with our girls.  And honestly, I'm already petrified. When Bekah wrote "Bare Naked Truth" and needed some bloggers to read and review it I decided to jump on it...anything to help prepare for the future. 

This book was pretty fantastic. I wouldn't recommend it for a lady under the age of 13 or 14 due to some of the honest but slightly "graphic" nature if the chapters (not graphic like play by play type stuff with pictures but there are some things in there that are not for the younger crowd).  Bekah's writing is honest and witty and thoughtful.  I that was my favorite part about the book in its entirety.  Bekah's thoughtfulness.  I mean sure, the stories about thinking she could fly and about a car and a tree were pretty great illustrations.  However, the thoughtfulness Bekah shows throughout her book exceeded any illustration she could have given.  There are times in a girls life where she may be struggling with the thought of sex.  What is it?  Should I do it? Why shouldn't I do it? Should I wait? My best friend did it.  Is it really worth it to wait?  But he said he loved me.  Bekah takes these questions and answers them in a way that is relatable and honest.  Another thing about "Bare Naked Truth" is that it includes truth.  The Truth.  The truth that Jesus is enough and will love you unlike and more than you could ever imagine.  That the act of making love is for the sanctity of marriage and really works best inside a marriage. 

I thoroughly enjoyed this book and would recommend it.  Especially when the moms realize the clock has reached the hour of "the talk" and they feel like they need some reinforcements because it came on much quicker than they imagined.  This book is going to provide you, and me, with some pretty handy tools.  Even if the witching hour comes sooner rather than later. 

* I was sent this book free of charge by the publisher.  However, all the opinions are mine.*

Oh the things she says...

Another car conversation on the way home from school with this one. 

"I smell somethin"-Teagan

"I think you smell the truck in front of us"-Me

"I don't like that truck! It's stinky! I don't like stinky trucks!"-Teagan

"Not all trucks are stinky."-Me

"Daddy likes stinky trucks!!!"-Teagan (as she erupts with a laugh that came from her toes that lasted the rest of the way home)

 

Investing.

I've been feeling the old tug of conviction here lately.  The kind that nags at you until you finally turn around and give it an impatient "What?!?".
I realize that I'm still stuck in the town I grew up in.  Now, I do not mean this in a bad way.  I love the town I grew up in, I was and still am invested in it.  However, Josh and I have made a family in our current city.  We go to church there.  We have community there.  We shop there.  We have friends there. We love there.  We need to be invested there.
What pushed me over the edge was when I started thinking about putting Teagan in a dance class.  My first thought was where in L-town would she go?  My first thought was not about where in Mt. Holly would she go?  It should have been.
Even after almost 6 years of living in Mt. Holly, L-town is still "home".  It shouldn't be.  Josh and I have made a life for ourselves and our children in Mt. Holly and that is where we need to start establishing roots.  We don't plan on leaving the area.  Perhaps a different house at some point but the same area.  We need to start investing.  Investing in our neighbors better.  Investing in the community downtown better.  Even investing in the local dance or gymnastics studio.  
So, I ask you friends,  are you still "stuck" at home?  Are you still afraid to step out of your comfort zone and just BE where you are?  I challenge you to meet somebody new.  Invite a neighbor over for dinner.  Go to your local coffee shop or farmers market.  Invest.  Invest in the people of your community.  I'm taking the challenge starting today.  I hope you will too.

 

That time I used a real camera.

You know that Memorial Day cookout I talked about in this post?  Well here are some more pictures from that day.  We had a fantastic time!  I even remembered to take my "real" camera!