If you've been around the blog for a little while you will know that I have a history of an eating disorder. I have had to be very careful while training. The goal of training for a marathon has nothing to do with weight loss. I'm actually pretty happy with my weight. Sure, there are some hotspots I have left after having two kiddos but overall I'm pretty satisfied.
That being said, I still have to be careful. Because if I'm not careful moments like right now, right after I've eaten and am feeling full, could be a catalyst for a relapse. Looking at fitness blogs or through other runners Instagrams have to have a time limit put on them because anything could trigger something unhealthy. And personally, I don't want to come anywhere close to that road again. I'm afraid that if I would even glance down that path for longer than five seconds that I would run, not walk, down it. Scary huh?
Sharing that with you has a point. Brian, one of our Pastors at Exodus, spoke about this Sunday about going through "stuff". We're currently going through a series on Joseph (the pretty coat Joseph, not Jesus' father on earth Joseph). I mean Joseph was thrown in a tunnel by brothers who wanted to kill him, sold for the equivalent of a cheese pizza, put in jail by a man he trusted, and the list goes on and on...We all go through stuff and when we're going through it there is usually not a lot of light in the tunnel. When I was going through my stuff, there wasn't even a glimmer of light in that tunnel. God was nowhere in my story as far as I was concerned. He turned His back on me, when it was really the other way around. That being said, I would not change it for a minute. The stuff I went through, the sheer HELL I went through is going to be similar to somebody else's stuff that I am going to encounter. People that I have already encountered. I am who I am today, I know the stuff I know today, I can relate to certain things today because of my past. I might not have been able to see that glimmer in the dark during those time but I am trusting and loving my God, my Savior through those dark times and I wouldn't trade them for anything.