For example, I still don't have a job. I've been out of graduate school since mid-May. I think I've been through every emotion on the spectrum and finally fell where I should have been from the start, where I've been about maybe 59 percent of the time. On my knees, giving it all to Him. Getting into graduate school worked out seamlessly. Graduate school was nowhere near as gruesome as I set it up to be in my mind. Graduate school barely took time away from my family. Graduate school gave me sweet friends for that moment in time and beyond. Graduate school helped me appreciate the support and prayers and all of the above more that I ever had before. Yet, somehow I forget that. Somehow I focus on the hard and the now and my time. I let the thoughts flood in that it was a mistake. I think that it might have been a mistake because nothing is happening right now. Things aren't happening in my time. Then, I have phone conversations that bring His greatness back into focus. It's then that I realize HE worked all of this process out, in HIS time and not mine. I refocus back on how he provided for my family during graduate school time and now. How he worked the details out for graduate school in a mere two weeks. It's all happened in HIS time and it's going to continue to be that way. If I try to rush the process it tends to suck the joy out of the goodness and sweetness that HE gives us. And why would I ever want to do that?
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