Hope is bigger than anger.

I am going to share with you a video that was shown to me and a group of women this weekend.  I am going to go ahead and assume some of the feelings you may have after you watch this particular one, and the next few I will share, but I'm not going to type those words until after the video.  I do want you to ponder the same questions I was asked to think on while watching this video the first time.
What do you see?
What do you hear?
What do you feel?


(89 Victims of Human Trafficking Rescued (Covert Footage) from The Exodus Road on Vimeo.)

I was intrigued at the beginning of this video when I first watched it.  I was curious about what this would look like.  My adrenaline sent my heart into slight palpitations, then my hands began to sweat a little and I started wondering what was going to happen? What was this going to look like? I got a lot angrier during this short, less than 5 minute, video than I have been in a long time.  I cried but it wasn't a sobbing cry or an ugly cry. And y'all, I ugly cried a LOT at Allume this weekend. This cry allowed me to shed tears of hope. God put it on my heart during this video not to focus on the part that made me angry but to see Him working through this. The fact that there is even a video like this.  That there is a group of people who have been called to set people free because they have been set free themselves just resonated throughout the entire last minutes of this video for me. So, y'all, get angry.  Get fire breathing, ugly cry angry, but then let it go. Choose to seek the hope from this story. Then, I challenge you to do something.

Over the next few days and weeks I will be giving you the opportunity to respond to this challenge.  I have some ideas and ways you can help raise awareness and support.  Right now, I just want this to sit with you for a day or two.  I want you to pray about it and search your heart and listen and seek if God is calling you to be a part of this.  If you have questions before then you can shoot me an e-mail or go to their website, The Exodus Road.  Until then, allow yourself to feel those emotions but don't let them overwhelm you.  Allow yourself to choose hope because hope is so much greater than anger.

Introduction to The Exodus Road and Freeset

This weekend I went to Allume.  My amazing friend Jessica was the catalyst that helped it all happen but that is a story for another time.  This weekend blew me away.  If you caught any of my tweets or instagram pictures you might have caught a theme among them.  God broke me this weekend.  God broke me BUT then He set me free. Many emotions and feelings have overcome my body that I still need a little time to process and hash all of that out in words so I ask for a little grace in the down time.

While I am processing the new burdens and convictions in my life I want to share one of them with you.  I was given the opportunity to learn and work with two incredible organizations this weekend.  The Exodus Road and Freeset.  These organizations have made it their mission to set individuals shackled by the sex trade free.  The Exodus Road goes in and basically does the work of a top notch SWAT team.  Freeset gives those individuals a safe place (i.e. shelter, job/trade, safety, JESUS) after the shackles have been jerked from the wall.  Now, these two organizations do not currently work together currently but they are doing equally good work.  I am going to show you two videos; one from each organization.  After watching these videos I ask you to process them.  Process how they make you feel.  Process if the Lord has laid it on your heart to help me support these organizations.  Over the next few weeks I will be introducing you to products (hello, giveaways), videos, and other ways you can get involved in supporting these organizations.  And just before you think I am going to just ask and ask for money, you are wrong.  Support isn't always in a monetary form.

FreeSet Video

The Exodus Road Video

Last tweeted post for a while.

This was my last tweeted blog post for a little while. Allume rocked my world for good this weekend. God broke my facade. God called me to repentance. God called me to fix my gaze back on Him. He has called me to serve where I am. He has called me to minister to those around me. He has called me to serve the readers I have; not the readers I pridefully wished I would have for so long. He has called me to more intimate community. God has given me the gift of encouragement and He has called me to encourage you and those around me. He has called me to be available.  So, Reader, here I am. I love you. I am thankful for you. You are enough for me. But greater still, He is enough for me.

450 Stars. Esther. Anna Voskamp.

I've just got back into my room from the first night of Allume and needed to decompress and process all that today was. Right now I'm feeling blessed. inspired. convicted. tired. small. impactful. 
Ann Voskamp is here at Allume.  I've seen her name on THAT book, you know the One Thousand Gifts book, around social media but other than that I had no idea who she was.  
Tonight, she was our keynote speaker.  Tonight, she rocked my world.  The Lord put words into her mouth that convicted me to my core. You know, the good stuff. Tonight, she talked about stars. Do you know that in order for people to really pay attention to the stars in the sky that there needs to be at least 450 of them visible (that would be a Pastor Brian Lowe fun fact)? Apparently 450 is the "lucky number" as far as stars go. 449 just won't cut it. She talked about how we need each other in order to be effective. We are called to build each other up and not break each other down. She also talked about how stars are made and that they are made by breaking down themselves and working through the hard stuff to light the core on fire. We are called to share the ugly ladies, we are called to let our ugly out so that the light of Jesus and His grace and mercy and goodness will shine through. We are called to be like those stars.
Ann also talked about Esther. Esther happens to be one of my favorite books of the Bible. I could read it every day for the rest of my life and never tire of it. I will never read that book the same way again.  Ann talked about Esther being "in" the gate. Here's the thing: So. Are. We. We could have been the child feeling those pangs of hunger that surpass anything we've ever felt and last for days or weeks. We could have been that woman or that girl who was raped and abandoned or murdered because her purity was taken from her and she was no longer clean. We could have been that little boy who was forced to fight in his countries militia. We could have been that little girl who was grabbed of the street and sold into slavery. We could have been on the other side of the gate. But we aren't. Or at least not all of us are. I'm not. I'm like Eshter; blessed and within those palace gates. However, with that position comes a responsibility. We have been charged with speaking out. We have been charged with coming before the royal court at any cost. We have been called to speak out for those with no voice.  Because, as in the case of Esther, if we do not risk putting ourselves and possibly losing what we see as great for those who cannot do so themselves then we are surely to lose that thing anyway.  Just like when Mordecai explained to Esther that if she did not speak out for her people and tragedy struck that she would not be exempt but that it would be worse for her because she had not spoken out.  This was really convicting to me.  At first, I started thinking about all the good things I do or have done. Seriously, y'all, my sinful and prideful self went there. Then I basically gave myself a mental Gibbs smack to the back of the head (NCIS reference for those who don't watch). What am I doing? How can I do more? God has brought me to this place. To this moment. To this particular royal court.  For a particular reason. You know what? He has brought you to that place where you are. To that moment you are in. To that particular royal court. For that particular reason. So, sisters, what are we doing? What can we do? What is Jesus speaking to your heart?  What do you need to shed light on? Share truth about? Risk yourself for? 

Peter could have walked on water. Straight to Jesus.

How many times have you needed help this week? How many times has your head begun to spin but you've refused to take a time out for yourself?  How many times have you said you don't have time to take a minute or you don't want to bother somebody?  How many times have you snapped at somebody close to you when that person really didn't deserve it?  How many times have you not meant to?  How many times have you hit the ignore button on your phone because you just don't want to do people right now?  Maybe because you realize that one person would see through your facade.  How many times have you stayed in your yoga pants giving the excuse that you don't have anybody to impress or that the kids will inevitable wipe their peanut butter or jelly hands on anything "good" you wear?  How many times have you gone back to the cabinet for just one more cookie? one more drink? one more piece of cake? 

I ask these questions not to chastise.  I do, however, ask these questions to stir you up.  I ask these questions from a place of knowing.  I need to ask myself these questions often.  When I find myself needing to ask myself these questions I typically come to the same conclusion.  I haven't been allowing myself to ask for help.  I haven't asked Josh to take the laundry out of the dryer.  I haven't taken a mommy time out when Teagan or Kyra are having moments that make me want to pull my hair out.  I have hit the ignore button because even though I am very much an extrovert, when I am playing peekaboo with the shadowy place I don't want to be around people; even when I do.  I am in running pants 90% of the time because I claim truthfully that I don't have a job and I'm training for a marathon and I don't really care.  There are several times I go back to the refrigerator for just one more thing.  

It's in these times I need to ask for help.  From my husband, from family, from friends.  These people love me and I know would do anything they could to help me in those times I'm feeling like the shadows are beckoning me.  

It's in these times I also need to trust the Gospel.  I need to remember how strong HE is.  That even in the tough times HE is bigger and HE has me.  Peter could have walked on WATER straight to Jesus if he had just kept his eyes on the Savior.  When he took his eyes off Jesus, he began to sink.  Often times that is what happens.  We take our eyes off our Savior and we plug our ears from hearing the sweet truths and promises of the Gospel.  It's those times, these times, when we start to struggle and sink and clamor for anything we can get our hands on; those yoga pants, that brownie.  When all we need to do is cry out Jesus, Jesus.  

Grace.

Showing myself a little grace here today as far as the 31 days challenge goes.  Life has been consumed with running 20 miles, pumpkin patch going, with a whole lot of husband and little girl loving in between.  It's times like these, moments that I choose to cherish, that help me love my mommy body the most.  

She Reads Truth: the study of James.

The ladies over at SheReadsTruth have started a study on James.  The first day/introduction just spoke such sweet truth to my heart that I had to share.  I am doing 31 days on "loving my mommy body" and this spoke to that part of me.  I hope it does yours too. 

*Sidenote-another pretty rad thing is that we are currently walking through James at Exodus.  I love when the sweet SheReadsTruth devotions directly supplement the truths I hear at church on Sundays*