How many times have you needed help this week? How many times has your head begun to spin but you've refused to take a time out for yourself? How many times have you said you don't have time to take a minute or you don't want to bother somebody? How many times have you snapped at somebody close to you when that person really didn't deserve it? How many times have you not meant to? How many times have you hit the ignore button on your phone because you just don't want to do people right now? Maybe because you realize that one person would see through your facade. How many times have you stayed in your yoga pants giving the excuse that you don't have anybody to impress or that the kids will inevitable wipe their peanut butter or jelly hands on anything "good" you wear? How many times have you gone back to the cabinet for just one more cookie? one more drink? one more piece of cake?
I ask these questions not to chastise. I do, however, ask these questions to stir you up. I ask these questions from a place of knowing. I need to ask myself these questions often. When I find myself needing to ask myself these questions I typically come to the same conclusion. I haven't been allowing myself to ask for help. I haven't asked Josh to take the laundry out of the dryer. I haven't taken a mommy time out when Teagan or Kyra are having moments that make me want to pull my hair out. I have hit the ignore button because even though I am very much an extrovert, when I am playing peekaboo with the shadowy place I don't want to be around people; even when I do. I am in running pants 90% of the time because I claim truthfully that I don't have a job and I'm training for a marathon and I don't really care. There are several times I go back to the refrigerator for just one more thing.
It's in these times I need to ask for help. From my husband, from family, from friends. These people love me and I know would do anything they could to help me in those times I'm feeling like the shadows are beckoning me.
It's in these times I also need to trust the Gospel. I need to remember how strong HE is. That even in the tough times HE is bigger and HE has me. Peter could have walked on WATER straight to Jesus if he had just kept his eyes on the Savior. When he took his eyes off Jesus, he began to sink. Often times that is what happens. We take our eyes off our Savior and we plug our ears from hearing the sweet truths and promises of the Gospel. It's those times, these times, when we start to struggle and sink and clamor for anything we can get our hands on; those yoga pants, that brownie. When all we need to do is cry out Jesus, Jesus.