Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Loving my mommy body.

I have struggled with body image since I was in middle school.  Thinking back to elementary school I'm pretty sure there were some struggles bubbling below the surface but I was too busy having fun and not really caring to be bothered by them.
The struggles got fiercer as I got older.  As I grew my friend base.  As I was exposed to more of the "real world", watched more TV, read more magazines.  The struggles developed into obsession.  Obsession developed into sickness.  Sickness into disorder.  I developed an eating disorder and severe clinical depression.  As I got older those thoughts got harsher.  The hatred grew stronger.  I was never happy with what I saw in the mirror.

When I got pregnant, a lot of people were worried about how I would react to gaining baby weight during the pregnancy but also what would happen after the baby was out.  Thankfully, Teagan nursed well and for an entire year postpartum.  I had her completely dependent on me being healthy.  Otherwise, she would suffer.  With Kyra, the nursing wasn't so effective but the having two sweet girls that needed a healthy mommy was.

That being said.  It has been hard.  I've hated boobs my whole life.  I've been pretty close to duct taping them down a time or two over the years but I've never quite gone that far.  With two pregnancies, they got bigger, of course they got bigger.  With two pregnancies, the hips got bigger, of course they got bigger.  With two pregnancies, my nose got bigger, I think that is because I had girls (hello, old wives tale).  With two pregnancies, my feet didn't get bigger, hooray!!

We mom's should give ourselves a serious learning curve when it comes to our post-pregnancy bodies. They are new. They are alien.  Sometimes they are just plain crap.  However, WE GREW A HUMAN IN THERE.  So, let's give ourselves some grace, shall we?  I tell our girls so often they will eventually spout it in their sleep talk that they ARE fearfully and wonderfully made.  You know what? SO. AM. I.  I am a child of the King too.  He knows how many hairs are on my head (and my legs a little more often than I'd like to admit).

So, when I saw an opportunity to challenge myself.  To challenge other women, not just moms, to love our bodies and see ourselves the way HE sees us? I jumped on it.  I'm not sure what it's going to look like just yet.  But I'm excited.  I would love to have you on this journey with me, Sisters.  Let's love ourselves a little more each day this month, for the 31 Day Challenge.  And when we can't see the good, we can lean on each other, but mostly we should remind each other that WE are fearfully and wonderfully made.

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