Working and Breastfeeding. The basics.

Let's just get real...working full time and trying to breastfeed is hard.  Somehow we get it done.  Here are a few things that have made it easier on me.

First off, I am lucky enough to have an office to myself.  One where I can close the door and close the blinds and nobody sees me.  That definitely makes for easier pumping.  So, I unfortunately don't have any tips for bathroom pumping.
I have a Medela electric pump.  This has helped too.  It makes for quicker let down and quicker "emptying".  This means overall quicker pumping time.
I wear easy to pump in clothes.  I wear clothes I would nurse in partially because I also feed Kyra on my lunch break.  Button down shirts over nursing tanks work wonders. 
I breathe and relax WHILE the pump is doing it's thing.  It doesn't help for me to really relax before I attach the pump to my breast.  If I start slowly breathing and imagining Kyra while the pump starts then the letdown is quicker.
I have a paper towel or a small hand towel ready.  I wipe while removing the pump funnel.  This prevents leakage on my shirt or bra that screams "I JUST PUMPED" to the world. 
Bring an extra set of nursing pads and leave them in your pump pack.  This way you can change them after pumping so you don't have to worry about yeast infection, etc from wet pads.
I drink at least 12oz of water AFTER I pump to replenish myself and make sure I don't dehydrate.
I also take the herb Fenugreek at night before I go to bed.  I ran this by my OB and lactation consultant before I did this so if you want to try it, make sure you run it by yours too.

Lastly, and most importantly, don't sweat it.  With Teagan I stressed so much over not having enough milk.  As she got older and as the weeks after maternity leave went by I started getting a little less while pumping.  My body was getting use to her needs and I was basically forcing it to stay on task.  At 9 months we'd ran out of extra supply and I was literally pumping for the next day.  Then that wasn't enough and we had to supplement an ounce or two a day.  It killed me.  It shouldn't have.  This time, if that happens, I won't stress about it.  Teagan didn't grow an extra limb and neither will Kyra.  Letting myself off the hook has really helped this go 'round.

Do you have any breastfeeding and working tips?  If so, share them with me! I'm sure other Mama's would love to hear them too!

Mommy Guilt? Get over it.

*Caution, jealous, bitter, Mommy vent ahead.  Proceed at your own risk.*

Mommy guilt. Jealousy.  I'm at least trying to not let it surface too much but occasionally the little booger boils over.  Yesterday and today have been awful but I'm trying to keep it under control.  Teagan loves school. Absolutely adores her teachers and 90% of the time this is a good thing...until it isn't. She squirms out of my arms to get to her teacher as soon as we get through the door to school.  I barely even get a chance to give her a kiss and tell her bye before she is reaching out for her sweet teacher.  Here lately she hasn't even wanted to come home.  I go in to get her and she doesn't wiggle her legs in excitement like she used to.  She doesn't squirm to come get me if she is in somebody's arms.  Instead of crawling to me she either ignores me or gives me a "hi, whatever Mom" smile and continues to play.  As much as I don't like seeing her cry I selfishly could use a "don't go, Mommy" cry or whimper or SOMETHING every now and then.  And I really miss the "Oooo! Ooooo! Mommy's here" excitement and squeals because honestly, it made my day.  I literally rush toward the "school" door in almost a sprint in order to get to her and then when I get there she could care less that I'm there.  Some days I really think she would rather go home with her teacher.  I know it's normal, I know she's growing up, I know I should be glad that she likes school this much and I know I should be glad she is this comfortable with her teachers, etc. BLAH BLAH BLAH. I know all that.  My head and my heart are two different organs for a reason.  One is reasonable the other is emotional.  Sometimes one trumps the other and these last two days my heart has been champion.  My feelings have been so hurt and they have been putting yucky thoughts into my head like:
It's no wonder she wants to stay at school.  They are practically raising her since you work 8 hrs. a day and don't feed her at lunch anymore.  Ms. Haley, Ms. Alice and Ms. Judy don't get frustrated at her like you sometimes do.  Her teachers don't have to tell her no as often so she likes them better.  Her friends are at school and there is nobody at home to really play with because sometimes you're too busy doing "grown-up things" to give her all of your attention.  She sees her teachers more then she sees you.  You could be a stranger compared to them.  She is going to learn how to do all sorts of things without you because you work full time.  You're not a good mommy because you can't stay home or is it because you won't stay home? Could you really handle staying at home with her all the time? Would you give her all the attention she needs or would you ignore her and do the grown-up things? Maybe you're not cut out for this but it's a little late now.  She's really better off at "school" then she is all day with you. 
Now, as you can see these things will eat and eat at a person's soul.  Some days I'm okay but other days those thoughts just eat at me.  Little comments like "she was ready to go back to her teacher instead of you, wasn't she? I've never seen her do that" basically twist the knife that has already gone half way through my heart.  (that was a reference to her "school play" last night) I know people don't mean to come off mean but stuff like that just cuts deep into my soul and stays there.
Anyway, I know it's something that will come more and more frequently as she gains her independence but I have a feeling it is always going to hurt because it means I'm not the most important thing in her life anymore when I have been for so long.  I guess I am going to have to figure out a way to get over it before it starts to bubble over more.  I have to learn not to take it personally.  She's 10mths for Pete's sake.  I just love her more then I ever thought I could and I really got used to her needing me for everything...now that she's stopped needed me so much I almost feel useless.  I guess I just have to adjust to knowing she needs me in different ways now.