Struggling.

Squatting.  Rocking.  Bouncing. Swinging. Bobbing. Trotting.

Sounds like fun right? Sounds like a description of goofing off with either Teagan or Kyra right? WRONG.  That is what a nursing session with Kyra is like.  It has been hard. It has been a struggle.  It has been frustrating.  It has been exhausting.  It has not been a satisfying experience for Kyra or I.  It has not been a bonding experience for Kyra and I.  The only "good" sessions we ever have are the ones first thing in the morning.  It goes down hill from there.  We haven't given up completely yet but I am officially a willing slave to the pump.  I nurse her in the mornings and the rest of the day she gets a bottle of half "Mommy Milk (as T calls it)" and half formula.  We had to do this with Teagan but not until she was about 10 months old.  Sadly, we've had to start supplementing now. 
It wasn't just the struggle that has us starting to supplement.  We went for her well check on Monday and she is in the 20th percentile weight wise and when they drop below 25 they start to get a little anxious.  They didn't say we had to supplement with but it's been so hard on us both that we decided to go ahead and start bottle feeding her just to make sure she was getting enough to help her gain weight. 

I can't say that this was an easy decision for us.  We've been fighting this decision for 4 months because of the struggle and frustration but I was determined to exclusively breastfeed as long as we possibly could.  Our decision to supplement vs. exclusively bottle feed with breast milk didn't come easy either.  But, both Josh and I want Kyra to have breastmilk as long as possible and just in case my milk supply starts to decrease we don't want to worry about not having any more. 

There is one of the positive of bottle feeding....