Friday, July 23, 2010

My Dearest Teagan.

My Dearest Teagan,
Today at 8:12pm you will be 6 months old. At this time 6 months ago, you were still in my stomach getting ready to come out and I was having contractions in my "cavewoman" mode. Your daddy said I became a completely different person and that he'd never seen me so calm in the middle of what was supposedly so much pain. I attribute that to the Lord my little one. He gave me the calmness and the ability to handle the pain because he consistenly put thoughts of you in my head throughout my contractions. They planned to induce me the next day but showing your true independent colors you decided you'd come when you wanted and so you came on January 23, 2010 instead of January 24th...honestly I think you just wanted to share your birthday with your Aunt Jeana ;-) !
The last 6 months have been the hardest most wonderful months so far in my entire life. Your presence in mine and your daddy's lives has given us so much strength and joy that you'll only be able to understand it when you become a mommy.
As we were driving to daycare "school" (as your daddy calls it) I cried a little bit thinking how much you've grown and how fast you've done it. You no longer have an infant face but it's equally as beautiful now as it was when I first laid eyes on you. Your infant "jerks" are gone and you have control of your limbs now. You smile when you want to and not just because your face has a spasm. You giggle and coo and talk and whine instead of just crying or opening your mouth and trying to let a sound out. Your expressions are priceless and you melt our hearts when you chose to smile at me or your daddy. I think we both would jump up and down on our hands if we knew we would get a smile out of you! You're starting to roll around and pretty soon will figure out how to crawl. You just need to figure out that you can push yourself if you put your feet down while you're on your tummy...as soon as you do that you will most definitely be off!
Dearest Girl, you are the light of our lives and we are both excited to see what the future holds for our little family. I hope and pray you will always know how much your daddy and I love you. We are trying our very best to be good examples for you and to provide you with all that you need.
These last 6 months have gone by so much quicker then I anticipated and much quicker then I'd have liked. It is a bittersweetness. On one hand I'm excited to see you learning new things and exploring your world with such innocent curiousity. On the other I know that the coming months and years will change our relationship so much for the good and different. You will be the one choosing when we cuddle and this time will get less and less. You will constantly want to walk or crawl and won't want to be held as much. My back and arms will probably thank you but my heart will ache when I selfishly need a cuddle and you would rather crawl around.
I am excited to see where our relationship takes us. Already we have a bond that exceeds anything I really imagined seeing as I've only been on one side of an amazing mother-daughter relationship. Already I know that you know my voice, my smell and who I am when I walk in a room. You turn to me regardless of what you were doing at the time I come into the room and it melts my heart. I find myself talking to you even when you're not with me. I can honestly say I love you more then I imagined I could.
So, my dearest baby girl I will close this letter to you with happiness and love and pray that you will always know how much I love you. Unconditionally and forever.

Always and Forever,
Mommy