Life lately has been full of emotions. Emotions like anger. Frustration. Sadness. Defeat. Envy. Misunderstanding. Confusion. There have also been emotions like joy. Happiness. Delight. Peace. Understanding.
In those angry times I have cried out, truthfully not angry at God but angry at the situation we're in right now. Angry that I still don't have a job almost 5 months post-grad school. Angry that our finances are meeting "that point" that drastic might have to happen soon. Simply not understanding how it's all going to work out. Why hasn't it worked out in the way I've planned, the way we planned. In those times it's hard to see how it's going to work out. How HE has a plan and how it is going to work out for our good. How I am blessed to see the other side of His proverbial tapestry that he is creating. How HE continues to provide for us and meet our needs. How in spite of my times where I've been anxious and angry and withdrawn and hurt, HE loves me anyway. He loves me when I'm questioning Him. He loves me when I try to take it back and just do it on my own. He loves me when I ignored Him and ended up feeling those emotions like anger and frustration and sadness and envy and confusion. He loves me when I forget to thank Him for the opportunities that bring joy, happiness, delight, understanding, and peace, sweet peace.
So today, I am coming to him. I am coming empty. I am spending the day in prayer and fasting. I am prayerful that I will feel the peace that only He can bring. Remembering today that HE is enough. And that He truly does work all things for our good. Remembering I am truly HIS (Isaiah 43:1).
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