Funny.

It's funny how humility works.  You ask for it but until it comes, I don't know that we ever really realize what we're asking for.  I know I didn't.
You remember this post and this post, when I talked about how the Lord was working in my heart by way of humility?  Well, I was given an opportunity to test this new found attribute, if that is even the right word for it.  I have been going to praise and worship practice on Mondays.  This is quite possibly one of my favorite times of the week.  I get to spend an hour or more with others who love Jesus and love music equally, if not more, than I do.  It's fantastic.
Last week I got a text from our worship leader asking if I would be willing to sing this past Sunday.  After a few moments of hesitation, I replied with a sure.  Practice went pretty well and I continued to pray for a humble heart all week.  Funny how things work out.  Sunday came...I could barely breathe out of my nose and I couldn't hear at all out of my left ear.  We adjusted speakers and I did the best I could.  The first service was all me.  I was anxious because of the circumstances and self-conscious of how I sounded.  I was not being humble, I felt an extreme sense of fear of man, and if my heart had been humble, it would not had mattered.  I was up there to praise Jesus and help people see it's okay to lift our hands with our voices.  Between services, I prayed for a heart change.  Thankfully, a sense of peace and humbleness came over me.  I was not there to show off any talent I might have, I was not there for myself, I was there to praise Jesus and help people see it is okay to lift our hands with our voices.  The second service I was calmer and much more at peace.
Do I think I could have done better? Yes ( you don't realize how much you really need your breath until you don't have enough of it).  Was I nervous? Yes.  But, in the end, it would have gone a lot smoother if I had just given in and handed my heart over to Jesus the second I walked through that door.  Lesson learned, Lord.  Lesson learned.

 

Dropping the cup.

Today I had one of those moments.  You know the embarrassing moment that turns out to mean so much after the incident that you do not even remember the embarrassment?
Well, today, I dropped my cup.  My full cup.  In a restaurant.  At the register.  Normally I would have jumped to clean it up but today I was left practically powerless.  I did, of course, try to clean up the mess by picking up the ice but I had nothing.  No napkins, no kleenex, certainly no mop.  I had made a mess and brought down my friend and an innocent bystander with me, as their legs were equally as covered with Diet Coke as mine.  After being told numerous times to not worry about it that they would clean it up, we all had a laugh, thankfully, and after I got off the floor picking up ice, I was rewarded with a new Diet Coke and we headed on our way.
Driving down the road I just kind of laughed to myself.  How many times have I made a mess in my life and tried to clean it up by myself when clearly I didn't have the tools to do so?  How many times has the Lord done what He has always done by telling me to just let Him clean it up.  To allow HIM to help me?  How many times have I told him, "I've got this, really"?  How many times have I had to "spill my cup" with no paper towels before I allow Him to clean up the mess?  To show me that had I been paying attention or allowed Him to take control in the first place that the mess never would have happend, my feet would not be wet and my jeans sticky with Diet Coke?
I feel like so often in our lives we reach this point.  We reach the point where we drop our cups, try to clean up the mess ourselves and it just gets bigger and stickier.  Why do we always think we can do it ourselves?  Because we are born sinful and full of pride.  I am not different and I do not claim to be.  There are many days where I "just handle it" or try to.  On those days I end up anxious, angry and short-tempered taking out friends, family and innocent bystanders in my path.  I need to remember daily to let the Lord in.  To allow him to help me hold my cup.  Two hands are better than one.  

I found this quote today on Pinterest and felt like it was a great illustration of my lesson learned today.  Thing is, if I allow the Lord to be a consistent in my life and I let go of my proverbial cup, his hand is there not letting it drop even when I let go.  Because I am weak and He is my strength.  Nothing is too heavy for Him.

BlogHer11 lessons learned. Part 2.

1) Don't set expectations too high.  There were a couple of bloggers that I wanted to meet while I was there.  A few "top tier" bloggers.  I set my expectations too high for some of them.  I expected them to be just as sweet as they seem on their blogs.  Maybe they are but I wasn't feelin' it.  I'm sure it was nothing personal.  They were there to have fun with their friends like everybody else.  Their intentions for BlogHer were not necessarily to meet and mentor new and inexperienced bloggers.  I did get to meet Beth Anne from Heir to Blair. OH MY GOSH is she exactly like I had imagined.  Just as unfiltered and funny and kind as she seems on her blog.  I will blog about our meeting later on.

2) Stay in the host hotel if at all possible.  This will save you time and hassle.  I didn't stay in the host hotel. I didn't stay in a hotel within walking distance. It was a PAIN in the buhunkus.  I got loaded down in the Expo Hall and needed to drop off all my swag so I had to catch a shuttle to the hotel and back. This kills about 45 minutes of the day at a time and that is only if the shuttle is available at that moment.  Or my pregnant feet needed to prop (per the medic-another story) and I had to plop in a corner of the Convention Center somewhere instead of my room.

3) Be yourself and don't be afraid of it.  I am myself on my blog. I don't try to portray myself as a better mom then I am.  I don't try and make it look like I have an awful life just to get sympathy.  I don't try and be fake.  I decided to be the same at BlogHer11.  There were plenty of people there.  If somebody didn't like me for the person I am then out of 3600 people somebody was bound to befriend me. And they did! I met some wonderful ladies there!

4) Put yourself out there.  I didn't do this as much as I should until the second day.  I should have been a little more direct in introducing myself.  I also didn't "practice" my pitch as much as I should have.  The more people you network with the better. 

5) Work the pregnancy. Because people won't work it for you! In the airport when I was rushing and basically throwing myself into contractions trying not to miss my plane NOBODY cared. That was partially my fault. I didn't ask for help, I just assumed somebody would step up and help the pregnant woman.  I didn't want to look like "that" pregnant woman but I would appreciated some sympathy every now an then. But I take fault for that because I didn't ask and I was always "okay". Shame on me.

6) Remember your water bottle.  There were places to get water in every room.  We were told to bring our water bottles but in the rush of packing I completely forgot.  I think my lack of water intake was partially to blame for the onset of a few contractions.  If I would have had my water bottle it would have been better.

7) Just because I'm not a "top tier" blogger doesn't mean people aren't effected by my words.  I occasionally find myself questioning why I'm really blogging or if my blogging effects anybody.  I eventually realized I blogged because of me and because I like to do it.  When I finally accepted that to myself I got a sweet surprise from a mommy who was at BlogHer11 that I hate I was not able to get up with.  @ramblingstump (Nasreen Stump) tweeted this to me this week: "A little sad I haven't run into 2 mommies who turn my thoughts into words on their blogs- @crunchyvtmommy & @RiCiReid . #Blogher11" Of course I teared up and that really hit me. The right way.  It doesn't matter if I "only" have 72 followers.  I appreciate everybody who comes to my blog to read it and the fact that my words have touched at least one person makes me incredibly happy.

So, there is my sum up of things I learned at BlogHer '11.  There are a few stories I can't wait to tell you all about! I'll give you a teaser of the things to come: Bob Harper, Ricki Lake, sweaty palms, the onsite medic, new friends, give aways and two books!

Already learning lessons at BlogHer ´11

I have been here in San Diego for about 5 hours and already I have learned a few things.

1) Pack an extra tooth brush because if I would have packed 2 then I would have remembered at least one.

2) Stay at the host hotel.  I am about 2 miles away and feel like I am missing out on so much already even though the official things don´t start until tomorrow.

3) Set up things to do with people I really want to meet up with.  Officially.  Otherwise I´m left sitting in my room ¨resting¨.  Basically that means watching a million episodes of Bones re-runs.  I´m hoping to actually meet and mingle tomorrow.

4) After meeting a fellow blogger in the airport make sure to give them my card. The card with my info on it.  The card I frantically made sure would be in hand by the time I left for San Diego.