Monday, March 18, 2013

Not being a big fish.

It is easy to become overwhelmed when you are kind of a little fish in the big pond. It's easy to feel like you are being overshadowed. It is easy to have feelings of envy and of distain towards the bigger fish.
This has been something I have struggled with in the blogging world. I have bloggers who I truly admire, who I want to befriend and hug their necks. Sometimes those are the same bloggers I have to tune out from for a few days because I feel envy boiling up inside me.
I, more often than not, have the need for instant gratification. I want it now. I want hundreds I followers, I want people to want to place ads on my site, I want other bloggers to seek me out for mentorship. That may never happen. Am I okay with that? I'm getting there. I may not have been called to be a full time, consume more than a few hours of my week, blogger. I have been called to the social work field, I have been called to work with women who are suffering postpartum from a mental illness, I have been called to be a wife, to be a mother, to be a friend. I need to focus on these tasks at hand. There may be an opportunity for my blogging dreams to come true. Until that day I will choose to focus on my current callings and blogging will remain my outlet.