Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Being a grown up.

A few months ago had my dad and I sat down and had the conversation we had today, it probably would not have ended well.  I get a lot of my personality from my dad.  Public speaking doesn't frighten me.  I am hard headed.  I am passionate.  And I procrastinate like crazy.  One of the things I also get from my dad is defensiveness.  Now, my dad doesn't have too much of this anymore because he has allowed God's grace to change his heart from some of the stories I've heard from his childhood and young adulthood.  Me? I'm not yet (but almost) thirty and so God's grace is still growing me in this area.
Today was one of those times where I felt like I'd grown.  I had a moment of clarity where I could look back and see my growth.  My parents and I were having a discussion about our church's recent decision to appoint Deacons and what that looked like.  My dad and I did not exactly share the same viewpoints.  Had this discussion happened even as little as a few months ago, I might have gotten defensive, the conversation would have snowballed straight downhill and I would have stewed for a while.  However, we were able to have a biblically sound discussion on the topic.  We got out our Bibles, we got out commentary, we got out the explanatory paper our Elders wrote on the subject, and we dug.  We still didn't come out on the same side but in those moments I felt my passion start to rise to defensiveness I felt God's grace bring me back down to passionate.
My dad has always taught me to "know what you know what you know".  Today, for one of the first times in my life, I was confronted with exactly what I believe and I was able to back it up Biblically.  I was finally able to know what I believe and to explain that in a respectfully passionate manner.
I mentioned tonight in our community group meeting that for the first time I felt like I really had my own set of beliefs.  Growing up, I'd depended on my parents.  Whatever they said was right and true, WAS right and true to me.  I rode that wave for years, thinking nothing about it.  Today though, I was able to see that I am an adult now.  I have grown in my walk with my Jesus and I am beginning to really "know what I know what I know".  That being said, I am so thankful that I had/have parents who built that foundation for me.  I owe so much of my walk with Jesus to them, and for that fact I will be forever and eternally grateful.    


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