Have you ever felt such an overwhelming peace come over you? The kind where you don't have a doubt in your mind that all will be well regardless of what might happen. In the last year or so I have been blessed with this peace. As morbid as this might seem to a lot of people, I am not afraid of death. The dying part, yes. I'm not the most pain tolerant person. The death part not at all. I had a dream before I went to BlogHer '11, and flew across the country, that a few years ago would have rocked my world. I dreamed the plane I was in crashed. Now, I have been flying quite literally my entire life. I'm an Air Force brat and we traveled a lot. I've never been scared of flying and quite honestly never though twice about it. But, the older I get the more cynical I have become. I even get scared of thunderstorms on occasion.
In my dream we hit a lot of turbulence and the captain came across the speaker saying we were going to try and conduct an emergency landing so we should all be prepared. Then the inevitable came across the speaker. The fact that we were going down seemed to consume the plane. There were screams and crying and tears all around yet I felt an overwhelming peace. I was okay with the idea of dying. I had a pain surge through my body because I knew I would never again see my family on Earth but I knew I would see them again and it gave me peace. I've memorized their faces and in my mind I was kissing and hugging them. I just wanted them to have one last I love you, one last goodbye from me so I took a permanent marker, hot pink to be exact, and I wrote this on my arm as we were preparing for the crash:
PB & LB- I love you forever and always. To the moon & back. Rejoice for me because as much as my heart aches that I won't see you on Earth BB & I will be waiting on you in Heaven. Mom & Dad- I love you forever.
I was not crying in the dream. I was actually quite peaceful. The sole fact that I knew exactly where I was going gave me such a peace. I am so appreciative that the Lord has given me such a peace in my life that I could never had found on my own.
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
exhausted
I have been on a blogging sabbatical not quite on purpose. These last few weeks have been a whirlwind. First BlogHer '11 and then a family trip to Vermont with the in-laws. Both trips were fun but there was no rest involved. I/we went nonstop for both trips and I ended up with a very angry body. I learned that if your feet start to swell and your back starts to hurt that it means SLOW DOWN your pregnant self.
I have plenty to blog about and I promise I will. Starting tomorrow. I still have more BlogHer '11 to tell you about. Plus we just took the trip to VT and I took a ton of pictures! Even a really cute belly picture that a few of you have been asking about along with 32 week pregnancy details. HELLO, there is another baby coming out of me in eight weeks! And my, my how Teagan has grown! I think she added a few inches while I was gone and while we were in VT! It wasn't just inches she added either! The vocabulary she has developed has been incredible. I will leave you with this teaser: "Ice ice baby".
I have plenty to blog about and I promise I will. Starting tomorrow. I still have more BlogHer '11 to tell you about. Plus we just took the trip to VT and I took a ton of pictures! Even a really cute belly picture that a few of you have been asking about along with 32 week pregnancy details. HELLO, there is another baby coming out of me in eight weeks! And my, my how Teagan has grown! I think she added a few inches while I was gone and while we were in VT! It wasn't just inches she added either! The vocabulary she has developed has been incredible. I will leave you with this teaser: "Ice ice baby".
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Figuring out that I´m pregnant.
There was so much to see and do and experience at BlogHer11. At home there is always something to be done. Change diapers, give baths, work, fix dinner, occasionally get a shower in. My body hasn´t really had time to figure out that it´s pregnant. Until this weekend when it couldn´t take it anymore. My body decided to remind me just how pregnant I am. My body reminded me, at BlogHer11, that in about 10 weeks a baby is coming out of my body. I learned my lesson the hard way. A few times.
Saturday I did a lot of walking and rushing and didn´t get a lot of sleep the night before. I also was not drinking enough water so my body was a little dehydrated. I started cramping, getting short of breath and my heart started racing. I headed toward the medic to get my blood pressure checked. Luckily it was fine, barely high, but he told me I was over doing it and needed to sit down and take it easy. So, I did, for a little while. There were sessions to go to and people to meet and see. I rested long enough to be okay for a little while. By the end of the night I was having small contractions. I called Josh, called the nurse and she told me to go to bed and call if they got worse in the hour. All was well after I laid down. I knew I had over done it.
Sunday was a different story. I had no choice but to run around like a chicken with it´s head cut off. I had to wait forever in line to check in at the airport, the guy tried to send me to flippin´ Washington instead of Charlotte and I literally had to run to my gate. RUN. At 30 weeks pregnant. Carrying 3 bags loaded down with goodies. That meant no breakfast and a 3 hour flight. I tried to find one of those little carts to take me but nobody seemed to be manning their´s. There were just a lot sitting around unmanned. I started having small contractions that finally went away after boarding the plane. Then the plane landed late and I had to run across the Houston airport and take the tram to get to my plane on time. Luckily I had time to grab a sandwich and some juice but that didn´t stop the contractions from starting over again. Thankfully they subsided once I was able to get on the plane. But by then I was completely uncomfortable. My hips and butt and legs were hurting and so sore and there was no moving around or getting comfortable. The flight home was pretty much miserable.
This last week was a not so gentle reminder that I am very much pregnant. That I need to slow down. That it is okay to take a break once in a while. That there are people around me who will help when I am trying to do it all. That I need to let myself ask for that help. And that Baby Bear will be here in less then 10 weeks. Holy flippin' cow.
Saturday I did a lot of walking and rushing and didn´t get a lot of sleep the night before. I also was not drinking enough water so my body was a little dehydrated. I started cramping, getting short of breath and my heart started racing. I headed toward the medic to get my blood pressure checked. Luckily it was fine, barely high, but he told me I was over doing it and needed to sit down and take it easy. So, I did, for a little while. There were sessions to go to and people to meet and see. I rested long enough to be okay for a little while. By the end of the night I was having small contractions. I called Josh, called the nurse and she told me to go to bed and call if they got worse in the hour. All was well after I laid down. I knew I had over done it.
Sunday was a different story. I had no choice but to run around like a chicken with it´s head cut off. I had to wait forever in line to check in at the airport, the guy tried to send me to flippin´ Washington instead of Charlotte and I literally had to run to my gate. RUN. At 30 weeks pregnant. Carrying 3 bags loaded down with goodies. That meant no breakfast and a 3 hour flight. I tried to find one of those little carts to take me but nobody seemed to be manning their´s. There were just a lot sitting around unmanned. I started having small contractions that finally went away after boarding the plane. Then the plane landed late and I had to run across the Houston airport and take the tram to get to my plane on time. Luckily I had time to grab a sandwich and some juice but that didn´t stop the contractions from starting over again. Thankfully they subsided once I was able to get on the plane. But by then I was completely uncomfortable. My hips and butt and legs were hurting and so sore and there was no moving around or getting comfortable. The flight home was pretty much miserable.
This last week was a not so gentle reminder that I am very much pregnant. That I need to slow down. That it is okay to take a break once in a while. That there are people around me who will help when I am trying to do it all. That I need to let myself ask for that help. And that Baby Bear will be here in less then 10 weeks. Holy flippin' cow.
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Swoon.
Okay, so I am kind of a closet Biggest Loser, Bob Harper lover. There. I just came out about it.
It gets worse. I got to MEET him! Actually, I almost ran into him and got to touch his arm and he said hi to me and I was a babbling idiot that barely got out a ¨hi¨while my eyes took on the ¨crazy eyes¨ look. (Please read that last sentence incredibly fast and in a hardcore southern accent.)
He was at BlogHer11 and did an early morning yoga class and then ate breakfast with some lucky bloggers. I was eating breakfast with my Uncle Chuck and my Aunt Lynda. It was a tough call but they are family and hopefully appreciate that I gave up Bob Freakin Harper for them (that was sarcastic- I had a great time with them and an amazing breakfast)!!
It gets worse. I got to MEET him! Actually, I almost ran into him and got to touch his arm and he said hi to me and I was a babbling idiot that barely got out a ¨hi¨while my eyes took on the ¨crazy eyes¨ look. (Please read that last sentence incredibly fast and in a hardcore southern accent.)
He was at BlogHer11 and did an early morning yoga class and then ate breakfast with some lucky bloggers. I was eating breakfast with my Uncle Chuck and my Aunt Lynda. It was a tough call but they are family and hopefully appreciate that I gave up Bob Freakin Harper for them (that was sarcastic- I had a great time with them and an amazing breakfast)!!
Monday, August 8, 2011
BlogHer11 lessons learned. Part 2.
1) Don't set expectations too high. There were a couple of bloggers that I wanted to meet while I was there. A few "top tier" bloggers. I set my expectations too high for some of them. I expected them to be just as sweet as they seem on their blogs. Maybe they are but I wasn't feelin' it. I'm sure it was nothing personal. They were there to have fun with their friends like everybody else. Their intentions for BlogHer were not necessarily to meet and mentor new and inexperienced bloggers. I did get to meet Beth Anne from Heir to Blair. OH MY GOSH is she exactly like I had imagined. Just as unfiltered and funny and kind as she seems on her blog. I will blog about our meeting later on.
2) Stay in the host hotel if at all possible. This will save you time and hassle. I didn't stay in the host hotel. I didn't stay in a hotel within walking distance. It was a PAIN in the buhunkus. I got loaded down in the Expo Hall and needed to drop off all my swag so I had to catch a shuttle to the hotel and back. This kills about 45 minutes of the day at a time and that is only if the shuttle is available at that moment. Or my pregnant feet needed to prop (per the medic-another story) and I had to plop in a corner of the Convention Center somewhere instead of my room.
3) Be yourself and don't be afraid of it. I am myself on my blog. I don't try to portray myself as a better mom then I am. I don't try and make it look like I have an awful life just to get sympathy. I don't try and be fake. I decided to be the same at BlogHer11. There were plenty of people there. If somebody didn't like me for the person I am then out of 3600 people somebody was bound to befriend me. And they did! I met some wonderful ladies there!
4) Put yourself out there. I didn't do this as much as I should until the second day. I should have been a little more direct in introducing myself. I also didn't "practice" my pitch as much as I should have. The more people you network with the better.
5) Work the pregnancy. Because people won't work it for you! In the airport when I was rushing and basically throwing myself into contractions trying not to miss my plane NOBODY cared. That was partially my fault. I didn't ask for help, I just assumed somebody would step up and help the pregnant woman. I didn't want to look like "that" pregnant woman but I would appreciated some sympathy every now an then. But I take fault for that because I didn't ask and I was always "okay". Shame on me.
6) Remember your water bottle. There were places to get water in every room. We were told to bring our water bottles but in the rush of packing I completely forgot. I think my lack of water intake was partially to blame for the onset of a few contractions. If I would have had my water bottle it would have been better.
7) Just because I'm not a "top tier" blogger doesn't mean people aren't effected by my words. I occasionally find myself questioning why I'm really blogging or if my blogging effects anybody. I eventually realized I blogged because of me and because I like to do it. When I finally accepted that to myself I got a sweet surprise from a mommy who was at BlogHer11 that I hate I was not able to get up with. @ramblingstump (Nasreen Stump) tweeted this to me this week: "A little sad I haven't run into 2 mommies who turn my thoughts into words on their blogs- @crunchyvtmommy & @RiCiReid . #Blogher11" Of course I teared up and that really hit me. The right way. It doesn't matter if I "only" have 72 followers. I appreciate everybody who comes to my blog to read it and the fact that my words have touched at least one person makes me incredibly happy.
So, there is my sum up of things I learned at BlogHer '11. There are a few stories I can't wait to tell you all about! I'll give you a teaser of the things to come: Bob Harper, Ricki Lake, sweaty palms, the onsite medic, new friends, give aways and two books!
2) Stay in the host hotel if at all possible. This will save you time and hassle. I didn't stay in the host hotel. I didn't stay in a hotel within walking distance. It was a PAIN in the buhunkus. I got loaded down in the Expo Hall and needed to drop off all my swag so I had to catch a shuttle to the hotel and back. This kills about 45 minutes of the day at a time and that is only if the shuttle is available at that moment. Or my pregnant feet needed to prop (per the medic-another story) and I had to plop in a corner of the Convention Center somewhere instead of my room.
3) Be yourself and don't be afraid of it. I am myself on my blog. I don't try to portray myself as a better mom then I am. I don't try and make it look like I have an awful life just to get sympathy. I don't try and be fake. I decided to be the same at BlogHer11. There were plenty of people there. If somebody didn't like me for the person I am then out of 3600 people somebody was bound to befriend me. And they did! I met some wonderful ladies there!
4) Put yourself out there. I didn't do this as much as I should until the second day. I should have been a little more direct in introducing myself. I also didn't "practice" my pitch as much as I should have. The more people you network with the better.
5) Work the pregnancy. Because people won't work it for you! In the airport when I was rushing and basically throwing myself into contractions trying not to miss my plane NOBODY cared. That was partially my fault. I didn't ask for help, I just assumed somebody would step up and help the pregnant woman. I didn't want to look like "that" pregnant woman but I would appreciated some sympathy every now an then. But I take fault for that because I didn't ask and I was always "okay". Shame on me.
6) Remember your water bottle. There were places to get water in every room. We were told to bring our water bottles but in the rush of packing I completely forgot. I think my lack of water intake was partially to blame for the onset of a few contractions. If I would have had my water bottle it would have been better.
7) Just because I'm not a "top tier" blogger doesn't mean people aren't effected by my words. I occasionally find myself questioning why I'm really blogging or if my blogging effects anybody. I eventually realized I blogged because of me and because I like to do it. When I finally accepted that to myself I got a sweet surprise from a mommy who was at BlogHer11 that I hate I was not able to get up with. @ramblingstump (Nasreen Stump) tweeted this to me this week: "A little sad I haven't run into 2 mommies who turn my thoughts into words on their blogs- @crunchyvtmommy & @RiCiReid . #Blogher11" Of course I teared up and that really hit me. The right way. It doesn't matter if I "only" have 72 followers. I appreciate everybody who comes to my blog to read it and the fact that my words have touched at least one person makes me incredibly happy.
So, there is my sum up of things I learned at BlogHer '11. There are a few stories I can't wait to tell you all about! I'll give you a teaser of the things to come: Bob Harper, Ricki Lake, sweaty palms, the onsite medic, new friends, give aways and two books!
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Already learning lessons at BlogHer ´11
I have been here in San Diego for about 5 hours and already I have learned a few things.
1) Pack an extra tooth brush because if I would have packed 2 then I would have remembered at least one.
2) Stay at the host hotel. I am about 2 miles away and feel like I am missing out on so much already even though the official things don´t start until tomorrow.
3) Set up things to do with people I really want to meet up with. Officially. Otherwise I´m left sitting in my room ¨resting¨. Basically that means watching a million episodes of Bones re-runs. I´m hoping to actually meet and mingle tomorrow.
4) After meeting a fellow blogger in the airport make sure to give them my card. The card with my info on it. The card I frantically made sure would be in hand by the time I left for San Diego.
1) Pack an extra tooth brush because if I would have packed 2 then I would have remembered at least one.
2) Stay at the host hotel. I am about 2 miles away and feel like I am missing out on so much already even though the official things don´t start until tomorrow.
3) Set up things to do with people I really want to meet up with. Officially. Otherwise I´m left sitting in my room ¨resting¨. Basically that means watching a million episodes of Bones re-runs. I´m hoping to actually meet and mingle tomorrow.
4) After meeting a fellow blogger in the airport make sure to give them my card. The card with my info on it. The card I frantically made sure would be in hand by the time I left for San Diego.
Monday, August 1, 2011
Teagan Stepped out on a Sunday
Now, I have to admit, I did look pretty cute on Saturday. Even pregnant. I however, feel most comfortable BEHIND the camera and that is why you rarely see pictures of me even looking cute. Teagan on the other hand is adorable all the time and doesn't mind being in front of the camera.
Sunday she picked out, yes she really did, this adorable dress from her closet and we went with it! She had slept pretty funky so her hair turned into crazy hair that didn't want to be tamed but she rocked it anyway!
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