Dearest Teagan

Dearest Teagan,
Well, kiddo, you turned 10 months 2 days before Thanksgiving. I've been waiting on "that month" where everything changes, where you grow more, learn more and do more. You've been pretty steady in your progression and development.  You've not really had any "BAM, all of a sudden" moments since you've been born.  Sure you've hit a growth spurt or two (not many more then two) but you've just been a steady above average developer.  Well, Little Bear, month 9 was a doozy! You hit the ground running and haven't really stopped!  About a week into your 9th month you decided that creeping, or "lazy crawling" as your daddy and I call it, wasn't enough and you realized you could go faster if you actually used your legs to crawl.  You decided that just standing up wasn't fun enough so you started to cruise on basically everything.  In the recent days you stood up from squat position to standing and stood frozen for a few seconds, you've also stood for lots of seconds by yourself after mommy lets you go while you're standing.  You have attempted the stairs a few times but your legs are still a little short and you can't quite get over the first one.  I have a feeling once you figure that out the baby gate will immediately have to go up.  There will be no stopping you at that point.  A few of your favorite things are cabinet doors, the oven drawer and the drawers to your dresser.  Your love of the oven drawer made it difficult on Thanksgiving when I was trying to cook the turkey and you wanted in your drawer.  Your daddy did a pretty good job keeping you out of the kitchen but sometimes you were so insistent and determined that you would slip by and then  yell at me and give me mean looks when I took you out of the kitchen.  Thanksgiving went pretty good.  You visited with everybody but refused to take a nap.  Well, refused until it was time to sit down and actually eat.  Silly Bear.  You went and had your first sleepover with Miles David the Friday after Thanksgiving.  You did great! You two were adorable playing together and your Aunt Jeana and I vowed to have more sleepovers and playdates for you two.  We all went together to get our Christmas trees and you two were troopers in the cold and when your parents needed pictures of you in your Santa hats... 
You have started to sprout your first two teeth. I've been anxious in waiting on these boogers.  Wondering when they would come, how much pain you would be in and what I would do when they started to come in.  They haven't quite broken through yet and you've taken it like a trooper.  You haven't been especially fussy or out of the ordinary.  A few runnier then usual diapers ( I know you'll think TMI, mom, when you read this) but no other real signs other then pearly whites showing through and drool. A lot of drool.
Little Bear, I anxiously wait for Christmas with a new excitement this year.  I've been pretty apathetic for the last few year in regards to any holiday.  I really could have cared less about my birthday to be honest.  This year I am excited for everything.  I even started decorating and listening to Christmas music in November.  Something I have NEVER done. My entire life.  You've brought the twinkle back to my eyes and the warmth back into my heart.  I am excited to see these holidays through your eyes.  I anticipate I will be more excited about your holidays then you will be for at least a year or two but I am okay with that.  I will willingly be the bringer of excitement with your daddy right beside me.  Even he has an extra sparkle this year Little Bear.  He even put icicle lights up on the house just for you this year! You've brought us more joy in 10 months then you will ever know.  You never cease to make us happier then we've ever been.  You were what we were thankful for at Thanksgiving and I can't wait to share Christmas with you. 

I love you with all my heart.  I love you to the moon and back.  I love you as deep as the sea and as high as the sky. 

Love Forever and Always,
Mommy

Apple, my Ipod and Itunes. Disappointed.

I didn't run today.  I needed to run but I didn't.  As you all know I am training for a half marathon in December.  I have faithfully trained and am working my butt off to complete this race.  Today, for the third or fourth time my Ipod or Itunes decided to throw a road block in my way.  My Ipod decided it wanted to not cooperate.  Itunes would not recognize it and it also wouldn't allow me to restore it to factory settings.  It was if my Ipod didn't exist in Itunes land.  I use my Ipod and the Nike-Run to figure out my mileage and my time when running.  This is a necessary part of my training.  Plus I run much better to music.  Yes, I could have ran today without my Ipod.  Yes, I could have "mapped my run" online but I have a short memory and would have forgotten all the little side road I have to take to get a high number of miles.  So, I wrote a letter to Apple.  After typing my letter and hitting submit I got the standard " nobody will personally answer your letter but we care" response and so I decided to type up my frustrations on here.  I don't have a large viewing but I have cherished and faithful blog followers that read.  I just wanted to share my frustrations with you all.  Here is my open  letter to Apple.  You have probably lost a customer. 



Dear Apple,

I am very disappointed right now.  I have had my (2nd) Ipod nano for going on 2 years now.  I run with it and I utilize the Nike software for it when running.  I am usually happy with it.  The last two weeks my Ipod has gone crazy.  The last two weeks have been very important to me and my training.  Every time I go to run & plug it in just to make sure everything is up to date it decides to not recognize my Ipod.  Itunes basically says the Ipod is not found.  I am training for a half marathon and need to train.  I also find the distance calculator on my Nike Run a necessity.  It is very inconvenient when I cannot run with my Ipod.  I have restored it and it didn't want to restore. This is my second Ipod and the last one stopped charging fully after around 2 years.  Have you decided to put a 2 year life span on your products so people will constantly have to purchase new? Well, this is probably my last Ipod.  I refuse to have to buy a new product every two years.  The economy is rough and money is tight and therefore I can't afford to spend money on a product I assumed would be lasting me more then two years from a company I thought I could trust. 

A disappointed customer,

Rici Reid

My morning off.

Well, as I type this I am sitting in bed listening to the sounds of Iron & Wine and a basically quiet house.  This morning I got up with Josh at the usual time of 6:30am but this time the reason was different.  We weren't going to work and we weren't going anywhere together.  I got up for the sole purpose of getting Teagan ready to go visit with her Grandma while Josh and Grandpa worked on the farm.  It was an odd feeling.  I basically did everything I normally do in the mornings.  I went downstairs and fixed her food but this time I labeled and placed lids on it.  I fixed her a sippy cup/bottle (what she doesn't finish in the cup she gets in the bottle, almost bottle free!).  I put the correct amount of puffs for her snack in the container and then put all of the above in her "lunch box".  Josh got her from her crib (she was standing and bouncing and laughing) and brought her down for morning mommy kisses and played with her until it was time for me to get her dressed.  *sidenote-you might be asking why Josh wasn't getting her ready while I was fixing her food, etc. basically he knows I love to get her ready in the mornings so when we don't have to tag team I get to do what i love* I swooped her from her daddy's arms and we "raced" upstairs so I could get her dressed.  This morning she played with her shoes while I dressed her and explained to her what was going to happen.  I told her Grandma had pulled out some of her Aunt Livy and Aunt Kristina and Daddy's toys from when they were her age so she could play with them.  I told her how excited Grandma and Grandpa were to see her.  I told her Mommy wouldn't be coming but I would see her very soon just like at "school".  As soon as she was dressed and all packed it was time to go.  I gave her kisses and hugs and her daddy put her in the car seat.  I gave her a few more kisses and hugs and told her I loved her and would see her soon.  Then they were gone.  It was definitely an odd mixture of feeling excited and relieved and sad and empty all at the same time. 
The plan for me this morning is not to clean.  It's not to cook or iron.  I have been given the "morning off" and I am selfishly going to take it.  I am going to take a long shower.  I am going to take the time to actually fix my hair (even though you'll see why this is pointless in a minute).  I am going to dress in my running clothes and then I am going to see Harry Potter by myself.  I have never been to the movies by myself but I will be buying a popcorn and a large drink and maybe something chocolate and I will sit there and be completely focused on the movie.  After the movie I will get something to eat and maybe run to Target to pick up a few things.  Then I get to go home and run. Run until my legs decide to stop me.  I've downloaded some new tunes this morning and it's a beautiful day and I can't wait to run! This would be why taking a shower and actually fixing my hair is a silly thing because I will sweat and have to take another shower because we have somewhere to be this evening. 
Anyway, I hope you all have a great day because I'm excited to go start mine!  Happy Saturday!

Sponsor highlight: Tiny Prints

I was contacted a few weeks ago by Tiny Prints.  They asked if I would be interested in having them as a sponsor for Teagan Tales.  They also put an offer of Christmas cards on the table so how could I say no?  It took me a few weeks of going through their incredible selection of Christmas cards a few times before I was able to narrow it down and finally pick our Christmas card.  I had to make sure to pick the perfect one for us.  Afterall, this was going to be Teagan's first Christmas card! It had to rock!!  The amount of choices might seem overwhelming at first but they have a cool tool on the side where you can narrow the search parameters by color, size, number of pictures, etc so it isn't as overwhelming as it might seem to be at first glance.
I finally picked the Hidden flowers card for us and decided to put Teagan all over it because Josh and I are not fans of having our pictures taken.
Shipping was quick even with standard shipping.  I checked the door everyday until it came and then when I saw the little box on our porch that said Tiny Prints I let out a little squeal and told Teagan excitedly that our Christmas cards were here!  She was very excited to play with the proof and the box while I looked over the cards excitedly.
I cannot wait to address them and write a little note on the back.  I also can't wait until Christmas so I can "send" the Christmas card to all of you! It is beyond adorable! 


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Dreams

Can I just tell you the craziness of my dreams since Teagan has been born?  My dreams have been vivid and more real then I could ever tell you.  I've even sleep walked once and kind of weirded out my husband.  Last night was no different.  The only bad part (well, maybe this isn't really bad) is that I can only ever remember bits and pieces of them.  Like last night.  I had a dream where I freaked out because I thought Teagan was suffocating in my pillow case so in my sleep I took my top pillow, took off the pillow case, searched it to make sure she wasn't there and then placed the pillow on the floor.  When Teagan was younger my dreams were awful.  I would dream about rolling over on her or losing her in the covers and she didn't even sleep with us.  The overwhelming sense of panic during and after the dreams was one that kept me up more during the night then she did. 

I've always had a vivid sense of imagination.  It has definitely gotten worse with age.  I hear one creek on the stairs and I immediately think somebody has broken into our house and is creeping up our stairs.  I've had many nights where I lay there, phone clutched (and sometimes already dialed), just waiting to see the shadow so I can hit send and run at them "gunner" (yes, I know what this football position is...do you?) style and keep them away from Teagan.  Josh thinks I'm silly and asks why I don't feel safe in our neighborhood.  It's not like I don't feel safe I have just become extra cautious and sensitive since another human is counting on me for safety.

Whew, that post was a little all over the place.  Basically, I have been having weird vivid dreams I don't really remember since Teagan has been born.  The end.


Do you like what you read on Teagan Tales? Will you help keep us in the top 75 and maybe help us make the top 50 on Top Baby Blogs?
Just two clicks will help us out big time!

Dearest Teagan

Dearest Teagan,
Well, my dear girl, you will be 10 months next week.  I can honestly barely wrap my head around it.  I feel like I've almost run out of words to write to you because I've expressed my love for you over and over again.  I kiss your sweet face and hands and feet and head more times then I can count on a daily basis.  I tell you how much I love you with every kiss and cuddle.  You make me so proud with every new thing you learn and do.  You make me smile with a smile.  My heart flutters everytime you reach for me.  My soul smiles when you give me "lovin" and hug my neck.  My heart breaks to hear you cry and all I want to do is scoop you up and hold you and make the cries stop.  I want to protect you from the world but I want you to experience it all.  I want to show you the world and all it can offer.  I want you to know there are so many opportunities out there that your daddy and I will try our best to let you take advantage of.  You have such a sweet soul that seems to shine through already.  You honestly bring a smile to every person's face that you come into contact with.  People say you're beautiful and baby girl you are incredibly beautiful but I feel like you are beautiful inside and out, already.  You have such a sweet disposition and you have already begun to share with others.
You've really taken off the last few weeks.  You were kind of lazy and content all at the same time when it came to moving around and exploring.  All of a sudden, BAM, you are everywhere! You are into everything.  You even tried to stick your finger in a light socket. Talk about giving Mommy a heart attack.  You and your two best friends at "school" have started really playing with each other and realizing there is somebody there to play with.  You three crawl all over the place and get into all sorts of mischief.  You will be moving up soon to the "big baby" room.  Luckily you will all three move together.  I have a feeling the three of you will be a force to be reckoned with in the coming years.   Also, you and your bf/bff Miles David have really started to "find" each other.  You love to touch each others faces and clothes.  You love taking his hat and he really enjoys trying to take your binky.  Your Aunt Jeana and I try to get you guys together as often as we can.  One of these days we are going to schedule a real live play date.  Or maybe a sleep over.  We're still working on it.
Today was the first time I didn't visit you at lunch to feed you.  We have started the weaning process as of today.  Honestly, Little Bear, I thought I wouldn't have a really hard time with it.  I thought I would be fine and not emotional and I would keep in mind that you need "real" food more then you need me now and it's what is best for you.  I also thought the idea of  "freedom" for both of us would feel kind of good.  I was so wrong.  I know all of those things are true.  I know you are growing up and becoming a big girl and that "mommy milk" is now really just a supplement to your nutrition but let me tell you Little Bear, it is HARD. Not seeing you in the middle of my day threw things off kilter completely.  I cried around 10:50ish when I normally go to feed you.  I felt like I didn't know what to do with myself on my drive to lunch.  I wondered if you were okay and how you were handling the change in routine.  I'm sure you handled it like a champ.  I knew this was going to be harder on me then you.  I just knew it.
Right now I am counting the minutes until I get to see you. There are exactly 27.  I didn't take an entire lunch break ( I couldn't stand it) and so now that the office is dead and papers have been organized and clients have been seen I am writing to you.
I want to you know that I love you very much.  I want you to know that I am going to mess up but we are both going to learn from my mistakes.  I want you to know that anything I ever do, right or wrong in your eyes, will always be out of love and what I think is best for you.
I am cherishing every minute I have with you.  I cannot begin to imagine what the months leading up to your first birthday will hold.  Just know Little Bear that you are loved and cherished. Unconditionally.

Love Always and Forever,
Mommy  

Bittersweet

The Bitter.
Today was the last day I will feed Teagan at lunch.  Today I was told Teagan will move up at daycare to the older baby class.  Today I cried a little as Teagan nursed.  Today I snuggled her extra tight as she gave me sleepy "lovin'" after she nursed. Today I walked slower to take her back to her room.  Today I took extra care and tucked her in more carefully when I put her in her crib at daycare.  Today I cried when I got into the car.  Today I missed my baby girl so bad it hurt. 

The Sweet.
Today we started the process of weaning Teagan because she is becoming a big girl.  Today I was told Teagan will move up to the older baby class with her two best school friends, Matilda and Cooper.  Today I smiled as Teagan nursed because I am amazed at how she is growing and how incredible she is.  Today I snuggled Teagan extra tight because I love her more then she'll ever know and she shows me how much she loves me by giving me "lovin" back and snuggling up tight.  Today I put a finally sleepy Teagan in her crib because she would really rather play then nap.  Today I smiled as I walked down the hall and got into my car.  Today I realized I don't have a baby girl anymore.  Today I am thankful that Teagan is healthy and happy and growing up to be a sweet Little Bear.