Friday, November 19, 2010

Dreams

Can I just tell you the craziness of my dreams since Teagan has been born?  My dreams have been vivid and more real then I could ever tell you.  I've even sleep walked once and kind of weirded out my husband.  Last night was no different.  The only bad part (well, maybe this isn't really bad) is that I can only ever remember bits and pieces of them.  Like last night.  I had a dream where I freaked out because I thought Teagan was suffocating in my pillow case so in my sleep I took my top pillow, took off the pillow case, searched it to make sure she wasn't there and then placed the pillow on the floor.  When Teagan was younger my dreams were awful.  I would dream about rolling over on her or losing her in the covers and she didn't even sleep with us.  The overwhelming sense of panic during and after the dreams was one that kept me up more during the night then she did. 

I've always had a vivid sense of imagination.  It has definitely gotten worse with age.  I hear one creek on the stairs and I immediately think somebody has broken into our house and is creeping up our stairs.  I've had many nights where I lay there, phone clutched (and sometimes already dialed), just waiting to see the shadow so I can hit send and run at them "gunner" (yes, I know what this football position is...do you?) style and keep them away from Teagan.  Josh thinks I'm silly and asks why I don't feel safe in our neighborhood.  It's not like I don't feel safe I have just become extra cautious and sensitive since another human is counting on me for safety.

Whew, that post was a little all over the place.  Basically, I have been having weird vivid dreams I don't really remember since Teagan has been born.  The end.


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