Thursday, November 4, 2010

Replacement.

Has your heart ever hurt when your child reaches out for somebody else when they're in your arms? Have you ever felt replaced by a babysitter, daycare worker, teacher, grandparent or spouse?  Does it hurt? It kind of kills me inside.
Teagan has started wanting her independence.  From me.  She has started reaching for her teachers at school (who are incredible by the way).  She has started reaching for her daddy (which usually puts a smile on my face).  She has started reaching while she is in my arms.  She has started reaching away.  As I write this my eyes are filled to the brim with tears but I'm willing them to hold the flood gates closed.  I know she is only 9 months old and she is exploring and gaining her independence.  I know I should feel comforted by the idea that she trusts these other people enough to leave the safety of my arms and go into theirs.  I am usually comforted by this idea but today I'm not.  Today it hurts.  Maybe it's the rain.  Maybe it's the fact that I can already feel her pulling away and growing up.  Either way. I hurt today.