It's getting easier.

Slowly but surely the postpartum depression symptoms are easing off.  We've had a lot of prayers being sent our way since I let the cat out of the bag and I couldn't be more thankful knowing we're not the only ones whispering about our problem in God's ear. 
One of the big issues that rose out of the postpartum depression was breastfeeding.  I got frustrated really easily if a feeding didn't go well or didn't start well.  Slowly we are learning each other.  Slowly I am realizing how Kyra ticks.  For example, if she is tired and hungry she would rather sleep now and eat later.  As simple as it seems it took me about two months to really realize that.  Now, if she doesn't want to latch on either side for more then a few minutes then I burp her and try to re-latch her.  If that doesn't work then I know she's sleepy and I don't fight it.  She'll eat when she's hungry.  Thankfully, she is right on track weight and height wise so there is no reason for me to try and force her to eat.  Not that I could anyway. 
I've also learned that her temperament is more like Josh's.  Teagan's was/is so much like mine that I just assumed Kyra's would be too.  It's not and it's taken me a little while to figure that out too.  Realizing that makes it more bearable that I don't need to rock her to sleep at night or for naps.  She likes to lay and just stretch and squirm around more then she really likes to be held.  It's not my fault and it's not the postpartum depressions fault.  It's just the way she is.  Josh isn't big on being touched all the time and neither is Kyra.

So, thankfully, no damage has been done and every day is getting better. 

This has been a constant verse sent to me over the last few months.  Oh how I love my prayer warriors.

 "fear not, for I am with you;
  be not dismayed, for I am your God;
 I will strengthen you, I will help you,
  I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."
(Isaiah 41:10 ESV)