Monday, December 5, 2011

Dearest Teagan

Dearest Teagan,
My sweet little girl.  I guess I can't call you a baby any longer because you're not.  You are a full blown toddler, not quite in age but definitely in spirit.  You are truly coming into your own and I continue to be amazed.  You have a mixture of mine and your daddy's personalities which eventually will be a good thing.  Right now it's conflictual and sometimes causes fits of misunderstanding. 
Your curiosity definitely comes from your daddy.  You want to know how everything works no matter how messy or how long it takes.  You get focused and that is it.  It's hard to tear you away from that thought you're pondering or the item you're trying to master.  Even if we manage to get your attention away for a minute your thoughts go right back to the original.  You also have your daddy's strong will.  Sweet girl, I'm mixed on my happiness of this one.  You and daddy are going to be a force to be reckoned with as you grow up.  I have a feeling you and daddy are going to be like me and Papaw.  The teenage years are going to be rocky but your love for your daddy will never waiver because he is a good man and you will grow up respecting him.  I pray you have enough of me in you that you can curb your strong will and compliment your daddy's instead of fighting against it. 
Your love for others, especially our family and friends, brings tears to my eyes if I let myself think about it enough.  Every night your prayers continue to get longer because you don't want to forget somebody.  And you are so matter of fact in your naming of all your loved ones.  There is never any question who you are praying for.  Your hands even go together and your mouth sweetly calls out "Pray Mommy" when we pass an ambulance, a firetruck or a police car.  And as I pray you pray with me; the words coming out softer then a whisper with a loud AMEN at the end.  The innocence you have right now is something I wish for you to not outgrow.  Naive and innocent are two different things. I don't want you to be naive because that can be misused and abused.  I want you to keep your innocence as long as you can. 
I know I've said this before but your love you've shown for Kyra has been more then your daddy and I can imagine.  You've taken to her like a champ.  And I am so proud of you.  I know it's been hard.  It's been hard for all of us.  Completely worth it, but hard.  I know you're used to having me all to yourself and when you want me and I'm in the middle of feeding Kyra or rocking her to calm her and I can only give you half of me, if even, that it upsets you.  Understandably so.  Honestly it upsets me sometimes too.  It upsets me that I don't have four arms and two chests instead of two and one.  I want you to know that just because my body can't give you what you need all the time that my heart always will.  My heart has divided into three parts and one of those parts is just for you. Nobody else can have it.  And I will never give it away.  I pray you can always hold on to that.  Even as you get older. Especially as you get older.
I love you my Little Bear.  As bittersweet as it is for me as a mommy I can't wait to watch you continue to grow. To learn. To experience things in a way not like anybody else's.  I pray you continue to thrive and love and explore. And anytime you fall, just know Daddy and I will be here to catch you. Always.

Forever and Always,